Learning to Live on the Outside
by CrazyCatLady002
Summary: After six and half years in prison, Allison's life sentence is thrown away and she is released back into society. She vows to never again let a man wearing a Sons of Anarchy patch decide her fate. Despite her feelings, she decides to try living in Charming when she lands a job at St. Thomas. The last thing she expected was to find herself being sucked back into the world of the MC.
1. Leaving the Cesspool

**A/N: Hello there! So, this is my first SOA fic, and I am hoping some people are willing to give it a try! I just want to say right off of the bat, this WILL NOT be a damsel in distress fic. Please trust me when I say that Allison isn't some mindless drone of an OC, who let men make the decisions in her life. **

**There is an extended author's note at the bottom.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sons of Anarchy or any other the characters Kurt Sutter created. This story is purely for entertainment purposes. **

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><p>"Best of luck in your future Ms. Lowrance," a tall, female guard, said to Allison as she buzzed her through the door.<p>

"Fuck you, and fuck this place. I hope you all rot in hell," Allison snapped as she walked briskly past the guard and exited through the steel doorway.

Allison treaded down a narrow concrete path for a few feet, before she passed through the final gate in the outermost fence. When she crossed that final barrier, she at last became a free woman.

Once on the other side of the fence, Allison stood still for a second and gazed upward at the institution that had ruled for life for the past, six and a half years.

The second she had entered Chowchilla State Penitentiary, she fantasized about this day. She vowed to herself that she was never going to give up on fighting for her innocence – and she didn't. Sure there were bumps in the road, but that was to be expected.

When Rachel visited her at the beginning of the week, and told her that she had won the appeal; Allison felt like she was floating on cloud nine.

A couple loud honks from a car behind her startled Allison out of her trance. She quickly spun around, and was ready to lip off the moron in the black Mercedes who scared her, but she stopped when the driver got out of the car. Her unimpressed expression instantly shattered into a huge grin, "Rachel," Allison chimed, as Rachel walked towards her and pulled her into a tight hug, "this is really happening isn't it?"

Rachel Braun let go of her client and smiled, "It really is. It took us a long time, but we did it. You are now a free woman, Allison."

"I can't thank you enough," Allison replied. She felt as if every nerve in her body was vibrating with excitement.

"Come on, let's get out of here." Rachel said as she grabbed the plastic bag from Allison's hand which contained her few personal belongings.

Allison nodded her head, and then climbed into the passenger seat. The odour of fresh leather and new car smell overwhelmed her nose. She remembered that Rachel, had told her that she had bought the car only a few days ago.

After Rachel put Allison's bag in her trunk, her cell phone rang. She walked up to Allison's side of the car and tapped on the window. As Allison rolled down the window, Rachel said, "I have to take this. It'll just be a second."

Allison nodded and as Rachel took the call, Allison looked around the vehicle. There were so many high tech buttons and gadgets on the dashboard. She couldn't help but to wonder why you would need so many devices in a car?

"Sorry about. I told my office that I was taking the day off, but they just don't listen," Rachel apologized as she settled down into the driver's seat.

"No worries. You are a very busy woman," Allison replied with a small smile.

"So are you ready to go, or do you need a while longer?" Rachel asked seriously. She realized that this was a monumental step for Allison.

Allison raised her eyebrows and with a sly grin responded, "I have spent the last six years, seven months, and eighteen days in here – let's get the hell away from this cesspool!"

Rachel chuckled and shifted the car into drive, "Yes Mam."

Once they had navigated their way out of the parking lot, Allison let out a breath she did not realize she was holding in. When they merged onto the highway, Allison spoke up, "So, how long of a drive is it to Charming?"

"Normally it is an hour and half. They have been doing some roadside construction lately, so we are looking at more like two hours." Rachel answered.

"You know you really didn't have to help me out like this," Allison blurted out, unable to hide her embarrassment from accepting her charity. She was almost certain, that Rachel did not help out her other clients like this.

"Nonsense Allison, you are not just a client –"

"Past client," Allison happily corrected her.

Rachel laughed, "Yes, a _past client._ I consider you my friend Allison. If what happened to you, happened to me – I don't think I would have made it. You are an inspiration, and I am more than happy to help you out in any way I can."

"That uh," Allison's breath hitched for a moment. The sincerity in Rachel's tone astonished her, "very sweet of you. Thank you. This never could have happened without your legal skills."

Rachel's pride swelled slightly at her comment, "your welcome." Rachel then decided to get down to business, "Now, even though the D.A. hasn't gotten around to cleaning up your record yet, Margaret Murphy – an administrator at St. Thomas Hospital – has agreed to grant you an interview for an R.N. opening they have in their pediatric department, at 11:00am."

Allison's eyes widened in astonishment, "Really? Like you mean today? I thought that interview wasn't until tomorrow!"

The last thing she had expected was to ever work in health care again. Moreover, she never expected to have a job interview right after being released from prison!

"Yup," Rachel nodded. She was happy that Allison reacted to her surprise in the way she'd expected her to.

"Wow that's surprising. Does she know that I'll still have a count of, imperfect self defense voluntary manslaughter, on my record?" Allison asked tentatively.

"Yes she does. I did however explain that due to the fact that the court couldn't physically prove that Paul, was intoxicated at the time of the attack, the judge couldn't diminish the charge to voluntary manslaughter," Rachel replied before she took a sip of her Starbucks.

"How much did you tell her about the attack?" Allison blurted out. The last thing she wanted was for her potential boss to label her as a vicious ex-con right off of the bat.

"Barely anything – all I said was that it was an ongoing domestic situation which came to a boiling point," Rachel tried to reassure Allison.

Allison felt her heart beat slow down immediately after hearing Rachel's reply. She let out a relieved huff of air, "Thanks, I am sorry if I was brash. I guess I am just really anxious."

"No need to apologize, it's perfectly understandable," Rachel asserted. "Now after your interview, we are going to go get you your driver's license, then go buy you a car. After that, I'll drop you off at the motel I booked for you until we find you a place. Does that sound good to you?"

"Yeah, uh, that sounds good to me," Allison found herself a bit tongue tied. She had no idea Rachel had to put so much thought into helping her re-integrate into the real world.

"Good," Rachel hesitated for a moment before she continued, "I just have to ask – if you get this job in Charming, are you okay knowing that there is a Sons of Anarchy charter in town? Given everything that happened in Tacoma, I expect you must be a bit leery of the idea."

Allison sighed to herself. She knew that the topic was going to be brought sooner or later. Thankfully, she had already worked out a spiel on the subject days before, "Yes I am. It happened almost seven years ago; I highly doubt any of the older members of SAMCRO, would even recognize me as Paul Magagnoli's, old lady. Furthermore, nobody has heard from, or seen, Victor or Charlie since they were ex-communicated. I am not sacred of SAMCRO. If they figure out who I am that's fine - they can't do a single thing to me."

Rachel slowly nodded - it was a logical, well thought through answer. "You are exactly right. For being a woman, you sure have one big set of balls, Allison."

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><p>Allison stood in front of the body length mirror, scrutinizing her appearance in the bathrooms by the main entrance of St. Thomas Hospital.<p>

She was very thankful that Rachel suggested they stop off at a drug store in Lodi, and pick up some makeup for her. The makeup brightened up her ghostly complexion, but didn't do much to hide the tiny wrinkles by the corners of her hazel eyes.

"Fuck you aging," Allison mumbled to herself as she contorted her body so she could view her backside.

Allison was only thirty-six years old, but she felt more like seventy. Prison hadn't been kind to her face, or mind. The only real benefit of being in prison was that she became ripped.

There wasn't much else to do when you are stuck inside of a cell for sixteen hours a day except work out. Besides, the more physically strong you appear, the less of a chance there is that one of the psychopath dikes will try and corner you during showers.

Allison's dark wash jean, and button down, purple silk blouse, wasn't the most formal attire for a job interview, but it worked. She quickly twisted her straight, reddish brown hair into bun, and then exited the bathroom.

Rachel was sitting on a bench, checking her emails on her iPhone when Allison emerged. When she heard Allison approach she looked up, and was surprised at Allison's transformation. It was so odd seeing her in civilian clothes, and not in a bright orange jumpsuit that was three sizes too big.

"Well, how do I look?" Allison exclaimed while opening her arms outward for inspection. She knew that her outfit wasn't even close to Rachel's Valentino, black floral print, long sleeved, mini dress and black Louboutin heels. But hey, at least she wasn't wearing fucking orange.

"Very nice! Now let's go find this lady's office. We don't want to be late," Rachel said jumping up onto her feet.

After about five minutes of following an endless queue of directional signs, they finally found the door that had, _Margaret Murphy, Hospital Administer and General Supervisor,_ written in black type on it.

A short, red headed woman in a grey pants suit, was conversing with a man whom appeared to be a doctor. When she saw Allison and Rachel, she excused herself and walked up to the pair.

"You must be Allison," the short redhead addressed Allison, as she held out her for a shake.

"Yes I am," Allison replied as she accepted the woman's hand shake.

"Margaret Murphy," Margaret formally introduced herself. She then turned to Rachel, "Mrs. Braun, it's a pleasure to see you again."

"Likewise," Rachel smiled. "Well I will leave you two to it. I'll be waiting around the corner in the cafeteria for you. Good luck Allison."

"Thanks," Allison replied timidly.

As Allison, watched Rachel turn around and leave, her nerves suddenly kicked in: How much would this lady ask about her record? Can a hospital really let an ex-con work as an R.N., or was this lady just humoring Rachel and her? Does she know about her history with SAMTAC – and if so, would she bring up the fact that SAMCRO is based in Charming?

"Well, should we get started Ms. Lowrance?" Margaret questioned in an analytical tone.

Allison was so deep in thought, it didn't even register to her that it was the second time Margaret had tried to get her attention. "Uh, yes of course," Allison's voice wavered, as her cheeks grew red.

Margaret fished out her keys from her pants pocket and opened up her door. When Allison followed her inside, she was very impressed by what she saw.

In her past experience, administrator's offices usually looked like a paper tornado had swooped through. However, Margaret's office was the exact opposite. It seemed like every object and file folder had its own distinct spot. To top it all off, there was even the scent of a fresh linen air freshener wafting through the room.

This lady meant business.

"Please have a seat," Margaret gestured with her hand to a chair, on the opposite side of her desk.

Allison realized how much of an idiot she must seemed by standing in the doorway, and quickly took her seat.

When Allison sat down, Margaret pulled a file out of her top desk drawer and opened it. She took a second to re-familiarize herself with the papers before she spoke, "Now I called up Tacoma General Hospital, and had them send over your file from your previous employment. Your old supervisors had nothing but praise when I inquired about you. The head nurse in pediatrics department, Jessica Smithson, said you were one of the most competent and dedicated R.N's she ever had working under her. You are more than qualified for this position Ms. Lowrance, the only issue is -"

"My criminal record," Allison cut her off.

"Yes," Margaret sighed. She readjusted her glasses before she continued on, "When your lawyer contacted me about possibly granting you this interview, I had to run a criminal record check – its standard procedure. Mrs. Braun assured me that all of your charges will be wiped from your record, except the imperfect self-defense charge. Normally, this would automatically mean that the hospital would have to turn down your application. However, the board and I combed through your employment and incarceration records meticulously. Despite the charge, we have found no evidence that you may pose a threat to patients. We took a vote on it, and decided that we will grant you a three month trial opportunity. If you don't let us down, we will grant you full time employment. How does that sound to you?"

Allison's jaw was basically scraping the floor. A hospital was actually willing to bend the rules and give her a chance... She didn't know whether she wanted to jump up and do a happy dance, or cry.

"I uh – that'd be amazing," Allison stuttered.

Margaret's face broke out into a grin, "That's wonderful to hear. Now the hospital offers bi-monthly, CPR and first aid courses. The next set starts up in two weeks. After you pass those and become re-certified, you will be able to start working." Margaret then stood up and held out her hand for a shake.

"Thank you so much for this opportunity," Allison managed to articulate through her shock, as she stood up to shake Margaret's hand.

"It's my pleasure. I know you will become an asset St. Thomas' team. You can register for the courses at the information desk at the front of the hospital," Margaret said as walked around her desk, and opened up the office door.

"Thank you so much, I promise I will not disappoint you or the board," Allison assured her as she took her leave.

She then followed the sign queues once more, until she found the cafeteria. It took every ounce of self-control she had no to sprint towards Rachel. When Allison spotted her, she chuckled at the fact that Rachel looked like a worrying, mother hen.

"Guess what?" Allison squealed a little too loudly, causing people other than Rachel to look in her direction as she approached her table.

"Did you get it?" Rachel's wide eyes conveyed how hopeful she was for Allison.

"Yes I did!" Allison chimed, unable to hide her excitement any longer.

"That's so great! I am so happy for you!" Rachel exclaimed as she she jumped up, and pulled Allison into a tight embrace.

"Thank you so much," Allison replied she hugged knew that if it wasn't for Rachel's enduring efforts, she would probably be stuck working some low-grade, fast food job.

"So how was it? Was she scary? She kind of came off like a prude the few times I spoke with her," Rachel dug in for details as she broke the embrace.

"She was actually quite easy going for a healthcare admin," Allison told the truth. "In two weeks, I need to take some courses to get my First aid and CPR up to date. After I pass those, I am clear to start working!"

"And where do we sign up for that?" Rachel was ecstatic to see Allison so vibrant.

"She said at the information desk by the main entrance."

"Well, let's go get that done! We have a lot more stuff we need to do for you today."

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><p>Allison was lying down on her bed at Willie's Motel, trying to recuperate from her hectic day. It was 8:30 at night, and Rachel had just left her. She couldn't believe that only twelve hours ago, she was released from prison.<p>

In that short time frame, Allison had a landed herself a decent job, bought a 2005 Dodge truck, and applied for a driver's license. On top of it all, she and Rachel even picked out an apartment for her to move into. It would be a week or so until she would be able to move in, but she wasn't about to complain. Living in an old motel for a week was like living at in Hilton suite compared to prison.

Tomorrow Allison would stop by the boutique down the block and pick herself up a few outfits, seeing as the only clothes she owned were the ones she was wearing.

After Rachel and Allison had left St. Thomas, Rachel gave Allison an unbelievable surprise; she gave Allison back half of the legal fees she had paid her over the past six and half years.

After paying for her truck in full and three months' rent on her apartment; she had two-hundred seventy five thousand left. It was definitely more than enough to get her back up onto her feet.

There was only one more thing Allison wanted to do before her whirlwind of a day ended. So she sat up, zipped up her knee high brown leather boots, grabbed the room key sitting on the nightstand, and left her room.

She walked straight for five blocks, took a right, and found herself approaching the TM Automotive compound. She was relieved to see that it was still bustling with activity, so there was a good chance he was still there.

When she walked into the compound, she noticed that there was a herd of Dyna motorcycles lined up in a row between the SAMCRO clubhouse, and the TM automotive building. To not chance running into any of the members who might recognize her (even though she knew the chances were slim), she decided to see if anybody was in the garage office. When she walked up to the door, she was relieved to see that it was open and there was a lady sitting at the desk inside.

"Hello," Allison called out as she knocked on the door.

The older looking woman glanced up from her paper work, clearly irritated by the disturbance, "You here to get your car fixed honey?"

"No," Allison replied curtly. She was highly unimpressed by the woman's tone, "I was just wondering if Juice Ortiz is around?"

The lady's lips parted slightly in shock, "Why do you want to know?"

"Is he, or isn't he?" Allison spewed. She was tired, and the last thing she wanted to do was play a back and forth game of passive aggressive bullshit, with some stranger.

"He's not," the woman stated as took off her reading glasses and threw them onto her desk. She stood up and walked up to Allison so they were face to face, "What your name honey?"

"Who wants to know?" Allison retorted, unfazed by the lady's attempted intimidation.

"Gemma Teller-Morrow," she huffed.

"Allison Lowrance," Allison replied. She got an internal thrill when she answered with her maiden name, and not he ex's surname.

"Well _Allison_, Juice isn't here. He's locked up in Stockton - gets out in four months."

"That explains a lot," Allison mumbled to herself. She wondered why she hadn't gotten a letter or call from Juice in a while. "Does he have visitation privileges?"

"Why does that concern you sweetie?" Gemma raised an inquisitive brow at her.

"If you don't tell me, I'll find somebody who will," Allison had about enough of this bitch's bullshit.

"Yeah he does. Not sure about a conjugal thought sweetie," Gemma felt pleased at being able get in a good jab.

Who the hell did this chick think she was, just waltzing into TM and talking to Gemma like that? It was Gemma's job to remind woman in this town of their place.

"Thanks," Allison replied purely fake tone as she turned around to leave. She knew that there wasn't any point in acknowledging Gemma's attempted burn.

When Allison's license and registration came in, she would be making a trip out to Stockton. She couldn't wait to see the look on Juice's face when he sees that Allison is the one with the "Visitor", sticker on her chest.

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><p>Kozik, Chibs, and Filthy Phil, were all working in the garage when Allison and Gemma were conversing. The door connecting the garage to the office was open, so the guys had heard the entire conversation.<p>

When they saw Allison walking away from the garage, Chibs put the wrench he was holding aside and called out, "Eh' Gemma, get out here."

Gemma walked out into the garage, "Yeah?" Her sharp tone portrayed that she was still worked up by Allison's visit.

"What in tarnation was that all about?" Chibs asked, voicing all the men's thoughts.

"Some gash named Allison, looking for Juice. I don't remember Juice having a girl named Allison though," Gemma's mind was churning.

Outsiders, especially rude bitches, were low on her list of people to trust and tolerate.

Chibs nodded understanding. He wouldn't lie to himself, that "gash" sure had one hell of a nice figure. It felt like a stone dropped into his gut when Gemma said that Allison, was looking for Juice.

Gemma quickly changed the subject, and went on to complain about some sort of foul up that had happened on a customer's car.

Kozik however did not listen to a word Gemma was saying. He remained as still as a statue, and watched Allison disappear into the darkness as she rounded the corner by the clubhouse, and left the TM compound.

"I'm going to go punch out," Kozik mumbled to nobody in particular as he shed his grey work vest. Chibs, Gemma, and Phil acknowledged him, not really caring too much.

Kozik grabbed his kutte off of the workbench, and jogged out to where his bike was parked. He quickly put on his helmet and ripped out of the compound.

He hoped that Allison wasn't too far away. He was relieved when he spotted Allison's figure walking down the sidewalk. He came up to a stop sign, and stayed still for a good minute to put distance between him and Allison.

Kozik then followed her until she disappeared into Room 16, of Willie's Motel. He parked in the parking lot, at stared at Allison's shut door.

After much internal deliberation, he decided that he wouldn't approach Allison tonight. Instead, he would stop at the liquor store on his way home and picked up a big bottle of Jim Beam. He needed some smooth whiskey to silence the screaming guilt that Allison's presence had brought forth.

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><p><strong>AN: So there is the opening chapter! I hope I was able to portray Allison's personalty adequately. Next chapter we will get to know more about Allison's past situation, and her relationship with Juice a bit more.**

**Please review, and let me know what you think of my idea. Constructive criticism is welcome; especially down the road with characterization seeing as that this is the first time I have written for Sons. Updates will be whenever I get the chance because, college tends to take over my life *sighs* :( **

**Thank you for taking the time out to read this! I am looking forward to getting some feedback :) **


	2. Old friends & Handsome Acquaintances

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sons of Anarchy, or any of the original characters - Kurt Sutter does. I only own Allison and her story line.**

**(Authors note is at the bottom).**

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><p>"Holy shit, I hope they don't serve us fucking tacos for supper again. I don't think my stomach can handle it," Clay Morrow complained to Juice, as he sauntered back over towards his bunk from the toilet.<p>

"I don't think the shitter can handle it either," Juice replied as he scrunched his nose upward in revulsion at the stench Clay, had just created.

"Fuck you," Clay moaned as he lay down on his bunk below Juice.

"If those tacos are destroying you colon that much, I can't imagine what Tig and Happy are going through in their cell. And just think, you all laughed at me when I refused to eat that slop last night," Juice said as flipped a page in the book he was reading.

"Yeah well we're paying the price now," Clay grumbled as he fought back the urge to return to the toilet.

Just then, the men's cell door buzzed open and two guards stepped inside.

"Ortiz get up, you've got a visitor," one of the guards said.

Immediately Juice became suspicious. Gemma and the guys weren't supposed to come and visit until Saturday. Juice laid the book down on his chest and asked, "Really?"

"Yeah really, let's move it Ortiz," the other guard bellowed.

"Okay," Juice shook his head as he hopped down off of his bunk. He really hoped that he wasn't walking into some sort of trouble. As far as he knew, the Sons had no ongoing beefs with any other gangs or clubs at the moment since the Russians had retaliated and stabbed Jax a few months back.

As guards attached shackled Juice's wrists and ankles, a loud gurgling noise bellowed out from inside of Clay's gut. "Sweet Mother Mary," Clay cried as he ran back over to the toilet.

Thankfully, Juice and the guards vacated the cell before round three of Tuesday's taco surprise, made its departure out of Clay's body.

Juice meticulously scanned his surroundings as the guards led him through the maze of hallways and corridors, which made up Stockton State Penitentiary. His intuition told him that there wasn't trouble a foot, but who the hell could this "visitor", be?

He had no family, and his only real friends were his fellow MC members.

Maybe it James, his co-partner in the weed shop? No it couldn't be. He and James made an agreement that if one of them were to get locked up, the other one wouldn't bother the person inside. Besides, James was total germaphobe – the last place he would want to do would be to voluntarily visit was a large public facility like a prison.

Was it the club's lawyer, Lowen? But why would she want to see him specifically? If Lowen had information, she almost always only spoke to Clay or Jax.

Before his mind could jump to any more conclusions, he and his escorts arrived at the doors of the general visitation hall. The one guards knocked on the door, signaling for the person in the control room to open the door. Once inside the hall, the guards guided Juice to a table in the center of the room. After they took off his shackles and made him sit down, they left him alone to await this mystery visitor.

Juice's heart rate steadily increased as each second went by, as he stared at the door which connected the hall, to the visitors waiting area. If there was one thing he hated, it was surprises. More than anything, he wanted to break down that damn door and find out who was there to see him. But getting tasered and beaten down with a billy club, wasn't exactly what he had planned on doing with his day.

After what seemed like an eternity, a buzzer went off and the door to the visitors lounge opened. When Allison stepped into the hall, all of Juice's worries evaporated into thin air. He was absolutely flabbergasted at the sight of his old friend.

The last time Juice had written her was before just he and SAMCRO went over to Ireland; and that was ten months ago. In her response she mentioned that her appeal was making tremendous headway, but never mentioned that she may be freed anytime soon.

It took Allison, a second to spot the table where she was told Juice would be sitting at. Once she spotted him, her whole face broke out into a glowing grin.

The last time Juice had seen Allison look so happy was when he went to visit her in Tacoma nine years ago, right after she had given birth to Briella.

When Allison walked up to him, Juice immediately stood up and pulled her into a tight embrace. He squeezed her so tightly; she thought he was going crack her ribs.

"Oh my god Allie, you have no idea how happy I am to see you," Juice whispered into her neck. He was stunned to find that tears were welling in his eyes.

She tried respond, but Juice's strong arms were squeezing her so tightly that only a wheezy, squeaking noise escaped her mouth.

Thankfully for Allison's sake, a guard yelled out from the other side of the room, "That's enough contact Ortiz. Hands off, and sit down!"

Juice was so overwhelmed with emotion, he had no idea he had held onto Allison for so long. He let her go, and the two sat down on their respective sides of the metal picnic table.

"How, I mean –" Juice was at a loss for words. Allison had been inside for so long, he had almost forgotten what she looked like as a civilian.

Juice's astonishment only heightened Allison's giddy mood. She found herself having a hard time not bursting out in laughter at the dumbfounded expression on his face. "I got out five days ago," she read his mind.

"Holy shit," Juice paused to entwine his fingers with her hand that was resting on top of the table, and softened the tone of his voice, "I am so happy for you."

The tenderness of his touch and his tone sent a thrill down Allison's spine. It had been so long since a male had interacted with her in that way. The way Juice stroked the outside of her hand with his thumb was driving her crazy.

"I uh," Allison closed her eyes for a moment, and put the tingling, warm sensation she felt growing in her pants in the back of her mind, "thanks Juice."

Despite her libido screaming at her not to; Allison pulled her hand away from Juice's. It was just wrong on so many levels for her body to feeling that way because of contact with _Juice._

This just proved to her that she really needed to suck up her shame, and go by herself a vibrator.

"So where are you living? Do you have a job yet?" Juice spat one question after another like machine gun fire.

Allison chuckled at Juice's verbal bombardment, "Yes I am doing fine. My lawyer Rachel gave me back half of my legal fees from the past six and half years so, I went and bought myself a truck and the other necessitates of living life on the outside." She paused and bit her lower lip for a second, feeling very nervous about telling Juice about her living situation, "I got an R.N. job."

"Really?" Juice's jaw dropped. He figured that since Allison was a felon; no hospital or clinic would hire her due to liability issues.

"That's exactly what I thought. It's even a pediatric position… at St. Thomas Hospital." Allison's voice died off, as she felt her self-confidence deflate.

At the mention of St. Thomas, Juice's brain twigged and his eyes shone as bright as stars. "You mean in Charming!?"

"That's right," Allison replied feeling quite relieved at Juice's positive body language.

"Holy crap, that's so awesome Allie!" Juice felt like a teenage boy again. Allison living in the same vicinity as him brought back the warm and safe feelings he had, when she only lived a block away back in, Queens.

"I know, right? I was absolutely shocked when the supervisor said the hospital was willing to give chance."

"So do you have a place to stay in yet?" Juice asked.

Allison let out a deep sigh. The apartment her and Rachel secured during her first day of freedom had ironically burned down two days ago. "No, I had a place secured in that new complex on 78th Street, but some asshole kids decided it would be funny to reduce the entire building into a pile of kindling. So, I am stuck staying at Willie's Motel until I can find another apartment."

"That's some shitty luck," Juice replied feeling sorry for Allison having to stay in a place like, Willie's Motel.

"No shit," Allison scoffed while rolling her eyes.

"Hey!" A light bulb suddenly went off in Juice's mind, "Why don't you stay at my place until my time is up?"

"I don't really know about that." Allison felt like she would be intruding on Juice's privacy.

"Seriously Allie, it'd make me so happy. I have been worrying about my house sitting alone for the past ten months."

"Uh, I don't know-" Allison was reluctant to give into Juice's pleading brown eyes.

"You can use my x-box, watch my Netflix, and even use my exercise equipment. I'll call up James at the weed shop and tell him to give you whatever you want for free the next four months. Please Allison, help me out!"

"Alright, you win! A girl can only stand so much groveling," Allison chuckled.

"Great! I knew you couldn't resist these hunky Porte Rican looks," Juice teased while attempting to wiggle his eyebrows in a _seductive_ manner.

"You're a freak Juice," Allison stated dryly, which caused the two of them to break out in laughter. After their laughter had subsided, Allison's tone became more serious, "Can I ask why you are in here? Is it club complications?"

Juice stared downward at the table for a moment to hide the shame he felt inside. Yes he knew that doing time was part of his duty to the club, but late at night, when all he had were his thoughts; he felt guilt for some of the awful things he had done in the name of SAMCRO.

Growing up in Queens, Juice was a delinquent. He didn't know a single person who didn't have a problem with the authorites. However, he had only ever participated in petty crimes like shoplifting and school yard fights. So when he began to prospect, the heinous violence turned out to be quite a shock to his system.

Over the years, Juice did a good job of hiding his discomfort, and he learned how to rationalize the violence to himself - it was all in the name of the club and brotherhood.

He took comfort in knowing that he had never taken a life for personal or petty reason. Juice was happy that he had maintained a conscious over time. Feeling remorse didn't mean he was weak, or less dedicated than say Tig or Happy; it simply reminded him that there was more to him personality that just being a member of the Sons.

"The charges are for gun running. Myself, along with four other members of SAMCRO are locked up. Shit got real bad for the club this year, Allie," Juice explained hoping that Allison wouldn't be pissed off or disappointed at his reply.

Allie sighed as she shook her head slowly. She didn't need to hear any more from Juice. Allison was an old lady for four years before she was locked up – she knew how the rest of the tale would go, "All that matters Juice, is that you're okay."

"Yeah, I guess your right" Juice said while nodding. He knew that Allison spoke words of wisdom. Hard times were simply part of the deal once you agreed to put on the reaper.

"Ortiz you got one minute, wrap it up!" A guard suddenly yelled from across the room.

"This fucking place," Juice murmured to himself. He then addressed Allison, "So you good with staying at my place?"

"Yeah I guess so," Allison knew that she really wasn't in a position to be able to say no to Juice's generosity.

"Great, so my address is 2219 Vermilion Avenue, NW. Gemma keeps a set of spare keys to my place at TM, while I'm stuck in here. She had been stopping by every other day to make sure my place is okay. Just explain to her that we are old friends, and that I am okay you crashing at my place for a few months."

"I hope Gemma will believe me… she and I have already met. My first night in Charming, I went to TM looking for you," Allison stated with irritation blatant in her tone.

Juice grimaced as he imagined how "civil" that conversation must have been. He knew that Allison and Gemma were on an even playing field when it came to how they handled confrontation, "Well if she gives you trouble, tell her to come and see me. Her old man is Clay Morrow; SAMCRO's president. Stockton fucked up their policy of no gang members sharing a cell, so Clay and I are cellmates for the time being. I'll tell Clay, to tell Gemma, to give you leave you alone once you move into my place. I'm sure you don't want the club sniffing around your business."

Before Allison could reply, two guards walked up from behind Juice. "Alright, time is up Ortiz - the little lady is going to have to leave."

"I'll come by to see you soon Juice. Thanks so much for everything," Allison managed to say before the guard hulled Juice away towards the inmate exit.

Once he had disappeared she sighed and stood up. As she left Stockton, she couldn't help but to feel a mixture of relief and guilt. The relief was because she wasn't the one being hauled back into a dingy cell for a change. However, she felt guilty because it seemed so wrong to it was Juice, who was wearing the CDC uniform.

Despite the fact that Juice was grown man, who was more than capable of his own decisions; Allison still saw him as the sweet teenager who dated her little sister for three years.

She had known Juice since he was thirteen years old. Even though he was a grown man now, she still felt as protective over him as she did all those years ago.

Juice definitely wasn't the brightest bulb in the shed, but he had a heart of gold. He also was the most loyal person she had ever met. Once he decided to form a relationship with you, it was virtually impossible to shoo him away. Even after Juice and her sister had broken up, Juice still came around her house to hang out with Allison. When she found out that he wanted to be a prospect for SAMCRO, she worried that he wouldn't have what it took to deal with "the life". Juice had smarts, but not the kind of smarts that one needed to succeed in the club.

All of that said, Juice had been patched in for six years already and he was doing just fine, despite his current incarceration.

Allison shook her head as she climbed into her truck. She often wondered if her relationship with Paul encouraged Juice to join the Sons.

As Allison turned the ignition over, she reminded herself that it was pointless to fret over Juice's predicament - it was his life, and he had chosen his own path. She turned the radio to the local country station, and then peeled out of Stockton's parking lot.

She was happy that it took forty minutes to get back to Charming from Stockton, so she could clear her mind of the negative thoughts before she had to face the Queen of SAMCRO, again.

* * *

><p>It was 4:24pm, and Allison knew that she couldn't put off going over to TM Automotive any longer. She put the book she was reading down onto the nightstand, and rolled out of bed.<p>

Facing Gemma wasn't the reason at to why Allison was hesitant about going over to TM – she had dealt with bigger and tougher bitches before. The fact that Gemma represented the association that had taken away her freedom and her family was what bothered Allison so much.

Allison knew that if she were to stay in Charming, she would have to try and neutralize her hatred for the immense harm the Sons of Anarchy had caused her. If she didn't, she knew that trouble with the MC would ensue. Also, she knew that she had to learn to tolerate the club because of her relationship with Juice. Juice was one of her best friends, and the club was such a huge part of his life.

As Allison stared at herself in the mirror on the bathroom door, she decided that facing Gemma could wait for another half an hour so she could have a shower. Allison wanted her look to match her, no bullshit attitude. Going up to TM, in black sweat pants and a baggy red hoodie, wouldn't give Gemma the right impression.

Of all of Allison's new found freedoms, taking a private shower had to be her favorite. It was relieving that she didn't have a dozen people staring at her scarred up legs and thighs.

Even though the scarring was seven years old, Allison still was not able to look at herself naked in the mirror. When she looked down at her legs, the face of her ex-husband Paul floated into her mind. More specifically, she remembered the sick, joyful look upon his face as he mutilated her body.

Her long, shapely, legs were the feature that Paul had loved most about her body. When she had "betrayed" him, he made sure that no other human being would ever find her best feature attractive ever again – and he did a damn good job at it too.

That horrific night, marked the beginning of her end as a submissive old lady. She knew that from that point forward, she needed to do whatever it took to make sure she kept Briella safe from her monstrous husband, and his deleterious companions.

Allison shuddered at the memory of Paul's response to her shift in attitude, as she stepped out of the shower. She wrapped herself up in a towel and exited the bathroom. To put that bastard's memory out of her mind, she turned on the radio on the alarm clock.

She then proceeded to change into a pair of dark wash jeans, and a tight fitting black ribbed tank top. After blow drying her hair and twisting it up into a messy bun, Allison decided it was time to face the queen of SAMCRO. She threw her room key into her purse, and left her room. Instead of taking her truck, she decided to walk to TM since it was so nice outside.

As each block went by, Allison felt herself become increasingly anxious. It was like there was this small voice inside her head that was warning her of some impending, heavy circumstance waiting for her at TM. What the circumstance was – she hadn't the slightest clue.

When she entered the compound, she was happy to see that there were more customers and ordinary folk milling about, than crow eaters and club members. As Allison strolled towards the garage office where she had met Gemma before, she felt a few pairs of eyes on her, but she didn't care. Allison was on a mission; when she was a mission, nothing or nobody could deter her from her objective.

Allison knocked assertively on the steel door, which had "OFFICE" written in black, bold letters. She heard somebody shuffle inside and stomp towards the door. She was surprised when the door opened to be face to face with a very tall, hairy, obese man.

"Can I help you mam?" The man asked as he adjusted his greasy looking glasses.

"Uh yeah, I need to speak with Gemma," Allison's said still a bit in shock at the size of the behemoth in front of her.

"Gemma went home for the day. If it's a problem with your vehicle I can help you out." The man stated nicely.

"No, it's a personal matter," Allison replied feeling a bit awkward with the situation.

"Would you like to leave a message for Gemma?" The man suggested.

"Uh – actually, is there anybody around who is close with Juice Ortiz?" Allison decided to try and see if there was somebody else around who could help her secure a key to Juice's place.

"Yeah… just hold on a second," the man furrowed his eyebrows together, feeling very confused about Allison's odd request. He opened the door that connected the garage to the office, and hollered, "Chibs can you come in here for a second?"

Chibs put the socket wrench he was holding to the side and walked toward the direction of the office. "What's up Phil?" Chibs inquired as he wiped the grease on his hands off onto his grey work shirt.

"This lady is here asking for somebody who is close to Juice," Phil relayed the situation to Chibs.

"Uh huh," Chibs was just as dumbfounded by the request as Phil was, "I got it Philly. How about you head into the clubhouse and help Chucky unload that new shipment of beer we just got in."

Phil nodded at the Scotsman in his usual casual demeanor, and exited through the garage to the clubhouse.

When Chibs entered the office, he was stunned to see the "gash" that came looking for Juice five days ago. He struggled to speak for a moment as his eyes travelled up and down Allison's toned figure, "You uh – Phil says yer looking for somebody close to Juicy boy?"

"Yeah," Allison's found herself somewhat tongue tied as she took in the man in front of her. His soft brown eyes, salt and pepper hair, and toned biceps and shoulders; sent warm bolts of electricity down her spine. "I went to see Juice at Stockton today. He wants me to stay at his place until his time is up. Said that Gemma keeps a set of keys to his house around here."

Chibs raised an eyebrow at Allison, as he scratched at his bearded chin, "Aye, she does. You know Juicy quite well then?"

"Known him since he was thirteen," Allison replied while repositioning her purse strap. Her tone wasn't indignant or cold sounding - in fact she sounded quite timid. The man's incredibly handsome looks and accent stuck had stricken nerve in her.

"I see," Chibs' eyes seemed to light up as he closed the gap between him and Allison. "Filip Telford, but ya' can call me Chibs," Chibs introduced himself as he held out his hand for a shake.

"Allison Lowrance," Allison responded as he shook Chibs' hand. His firm, yet very gentle touch sent a bolt of heat right down to Allison's centre.

"It's a pleasure lassie," Chibs said as his he pulled his hand away from Allison. "Yer in need a place to stay in I gather?"

"Yes, I – I uh just got released from doing some time a few days ago," Allison's heart rate increased rapidly as she divulged her situation. She figured she should though, seeing as how friendly Chibs was acting towards her.

Chibs nodded his head, not really sure how to respond to Allison's comment. Sure she had a tough demeanour, but she certainly did not strike him as the convict type. "Well congratulations Allison. I don't think that yer lying to me, but I know Gem would throw a royal fit if she found out I just gave away the keys to Juice's house without checking with him first. I'll head up to Stockton tomorrow and have a little chit chat with him to confirm. How bout' you stop by tomorrow around three to pick up the keys?"

Allison wanted to tell Chibs to just give her the fucking keys, but she knew that she had to respect his wishes. After all, she was just some random ex-con whom Chibs had never seen before. She would have probably questioned the man's intelligence if he had just handed her the keys, without double checking with Juice first.

"That sounds fair. Thanks for your help," Allison said as she turned around to leave.

"Aye, anytime lassie," Chibs drawled as he checked out Allison's well defined backside. This encounter only re-enforced the sexual attraction he had felt, when he had seen Allison five days ago.

If Allison wasn't just some bimbo who was trying to con Juice; Chibs made a mental note that he needed to get to know her better. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt so much energy from just a simple handshake with a woman.

* * *

><p>Allison was walking past the clubhouse on her way out of the compound, when Kozik and Opie suddenly emerged from inside the building, laughing very loudly.<p>

The volume of their laughter startled Allison. Her senses kicked in causing her body to freeze like a statue.

She knew that laugh…

No it couldn't be him – Kozik was all the way over in Tacoma. It was just her mind playing a trick on her, that's all. What business could he possibly have with SAMCRO?

As much as she wanted to turn her head around to see if could be Kozik, she couldn't persuade her muscles to move.

She made a vow several years ago to never see that son of a bitch ever again. So, she took a deep breath and continued on her way out of the compound without looking behind her.

Kozik being in Charming was a preposterous notion anyways. After what happened between Kozik some other member's dog, she highly doubted he would ever be welcome in SAMCRO ever again.

Herman Kozik, was simply never a man Allison hadn't seen for six and half years, and would never see again as long she walked on Earth.

* * *

><p>"Dude, what's wrong?" Opie asked Kozik, as he watched Kozik go from a jovial mood, to a totally disconnected one.<p>

Kozik couldn't peel his eyes away from Allison's disappearing figure. After the night she had come around looking for Juice, Kozik got so shit faced drunk that he passed out at four am, and didn't wake up until seven pm, the next day.

Deep down inside he had hoped every day for the past six and half years, that Allison would find a way to get her sentence revoked. He knew just as well her, and most of SAMTAC, that Allison never should have been locked up in the first place. But because of his actions during her trial, a part of Kozik also hoped that he would never have to see Allison ever again. He didn't know if he had the balls to face the love of his life, after betraying her so badly and leaving her to fend for herself.

After not getting a response from Kozik, Opie looked at his brother, watch the woman walking away in the distance.

"Uh huh," Opie mumbled to himself. The thousand yard stare, combined with the vulnerability apparent in Kozik's crystal blue eyes told him all he needed to know. "An ex-old lady?" Opie asked in his usual to the point fashion.

Without tearing his eyes away from Allison, Kozik replied, "Yeah, something like that…"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Yay part 2! **

**Holy crap! I did not expect so much feedback from on chapter. Thank you to my five lovely reviewers and all of the other readers out there who followed/Favorited my story! **

**So now we know a little more about Allison's relationship Juice, and her issues with Kozik and SAMTAC. She also has met a certain handsome Scotsman ;) **

**I would just like to state that the plot elements will not be thrown in your face all at once. The ongoing past/present issues Allison has with the MC, will be divulged in a timely fashion to build up suspense and give the story a good backbone. **

**Thank you for taking the time out to read this! Please review! **

**Until next week! :)))) **


	3. Not as Free as We Should Be

**Disclaimer: I do not own SOA, only my OC's and my plotline. I also do not own the right's to Zac Brown Band's; Free. **

* * *

><p>A distant, fuzzy sounding, ringing kept echoing throughout Kozik's head. Slowly the noise became louder and louder, until his alcohol riddled brain came to life and told his body to start functioning.<p>

When his eyelids fluttered open and his vision came into focus, he hadn't the slightest clue as to why he was lying on his stomach, in the middle of his kitchen floor. Kozik tilted his head downwards slightly, and spotted an empty bottle of Jim Beam lying a few feet away. Suddenly it all came flooding back to him like it had every morning for the past six days – Allison was in Charming.

His thoughts of Allison quick vanished however, when he realized that his cell phone was ringing on the kitchen table. He knew he should answer it, seeing as it was probably the club; but it was too much damn effort to spring to his feet at that moment.

Kozik felt like a freight train had run him over. His head felt like it weighed three-hundred pounds, and his mouth felt drier than the sand in the Sahara Desert. All four of his limbs felt like they were made out of gelatin, and every muscle in his body ached from lack of hydration. Also, the slightest movement made his stomach churn in a violent fashion.

He decided that it would be best to just close his eyes, and go back to sleep. Whoever was calling him could burn in hell...

* * *

><p><em>Allison sat beside Kozik, on a bench carved out of a ginormous pine tree log. They were enjoying each others body heat, while they held each other's hand.<em>

_As Allison gazed outward at the beautiful forest scenery, which was accentuated by the fading pink sunset; she was certain that sitting on the edge of this cliff with Kozik by her side, was close as human being could get to experiencing heaven while on Earth._

_They only had one more day left in Yellowstone Park before they had to pack up and head back to Tacoma, and neither of them wanted to leave at all._

_As they sat in silence, they heard the hooting of an early awaken owl. _

"_That one's a cheeky little bastard," Kozik commented on the owl with a chuckle. _

"_Well they do say that the early bird gets the worm," Allison replied sarcastically._

_Kozik's blue eyes lit up as he got a mischievous look upon his face. He slid his hand out of Allison's grasp and placed it high up on the inside of her left thigh, "According to this morning's love making session, I'd say that is a true statement."_

_Allison felt her cheeks grow red, as she thought about how loud she as rode him that morning. Apparently the crisp morning air, combined with the sweet smell of sap and pine trees put her libido into overdrive. If there was any wildlife around that morning, she was sure her repeated cries of "Holy shit," and "Fuck Manny," were more than enough to scare it away. _

"_What are you blushing about," Kozik couldn't help but to laugh at the mousy expression on Allison's face. Her embarrassed face was probably the cutest thing he had ever seen._

_Allison smirked and shook her head, "What do you think? I am sure everybody within a twenty mile radius heard us this morning." _

"_Well good. Now all of these middle class schmucks know how fucking sexy my woman sounds in bed," Kozik replied proudly. _

_Allison rolled her eyes and slapped him on the chest, " You're such a man. So are you glad that you allowed me to drag you out here now?" Allison remarked smugly to as she scooted closer to Kozik on the bench._

_Kozik bit his lower lip, wrapped one of his arms around Allison's waist, and pulled her as close to his body as possible. He stared deeply into the eyes of the gorgeous woman beside him. The look of gentle, yet passionate understanding, he had noticed so many years ago in her eyes made his body melt in exaltation. _

_With his free hand, Kozik tucked a loose chunk of hair behind Allison's ear before he spoke, __"Before this week, I just felt so lost inside._ _I have always been that dude whose actions fuck shit up, and then somebody or something, ends up getting hurt. I have been going down a destructive path ever since I caught that piece of shrapnel from that fucking land mine, and got discharged from the Marines. When I'm with you Allie, you make me feel like a whole man – that I have good soul. It doesn't matter if we are making love, spending time with Briella, or even cooking supper together... I am so tired Allison..."_

_Allison felt her breath hitch hearing Kozik's statement. She put a hand on his stubbly chin and pressed her body closer to his. "Are you… what are you saying Manny?" Her tone was tender and full of hope._

"_I'm saying let's do it. I want us to start putting the parts in motion. The way I have felt this week, I want to feel like this all the time. I love with all of my heart Allison." Kozik whispered, feeling stinging hot tears welling in the corners of his eyes. _

"_You dumb blonde," Allison whispered with a small smirk, before she raised her other hand to Kozik's other cheek, "I love you too."_

_He softly pressed his lips against hers. As they continued to kiss, he knew that this was the happiest he had ever been in his entire life. _

* * *

><p>"Juicy boy!" Chibs' exclaimed loudly as he sat down across from Juice, and pulled him into a bro hug.<p>

"Good to see you man," Juice chuckled at the eccentric Scotsman.

"Good ta see ya' too," Chibs replied as he let go of Juice. "Sorry it's been so long since I've been up ere'."

"Don't worry about it dude. You're busy, I get it," Juice smiled.

Chibs nodded and scratched his beard before he spoke, "There was a nice lookin' lassie that stopped by TM last night-"

"Allison," Juice cut Chibs off, "did Gemma give her the keys to my place?"

Juice cringed a bit hoping that Chibs, wasn't about to regale him with a tale of how somebody had to pull Gemma and Allison out of a brawl.

"Gemma had left for the day, by the time Allison had stopped by. We had a little chit chat, said you wanted her to stay in yer' place?"

"Yeah that's right. Allie is like my oldest friend, I trust her completely," Juice explained feeling very relieved. He knew that he had never mentioned to Allison to any of the other members before, so he understood the apprehension in Chibs' voice.

"You two just friends?" Chibs prodded as he raised an eyebrow at Juice.

"Ugh no! I'd never hook up with Allison!" Juice grimaced at the notion of him and Allison being romantically involved.

"Somethin' wrong with you boy?" Chibs leaned back in his seat with his mouth gaping.

He was absolutely flabbergasted at Juice's reaction. He didn't know what straight man in his right mind would be turned off by Allison.

"God no! That'd be like hooking up with my big sister." Juice quickly explained himself to avoid any further ridicule from Chibs.

"Ah, okay Juicy," Chibs winked at Juice while laughing. "I told her I would give her the key, once I doubled checked with you. I don't think you'd be happy with me, if I just gave yer place up to some stranger without checking with ya first."

Juice felt touched by Chibs' concern but felt the need to warn him, "Thanks man. You, nor anybody else, needs to worry about Allison though. She needs her space to figure her shit out right now."

"Whatever you say Juice," Chibs paused for a moment, unsure if he should ask the question that was on his mind. He decided he might as well – the worst that could happen would before Juice to tell him that it was none of his bloody business. "Allison mentioned last night, that she had just finished serving some time. Do you know what that is all about?"

Juice twitched his mouth side to side, and let out a heavy sigh before replying to Chibs' question, "Yeah I do. Let's just say she was doing time, which she shouldn't have been doing in the first place. Her ex-husband and his associates really screwed her over… It's not my place to say any more."

Allison's incarceration was a tricky topic that needed to be handled very delicately - especially around his brothers. The last thing he wanted to do was divulge too much information, and have Allison possibly harassed by the MC.

Chibs suddenly felt full of rage. No woman should ever have to endure abuse from the hands of a man. What kind of a sick bastard would let his old lady take, the fall for something he was responsible for?

"Aye, I understand. I'll make sure the Gemma and the club get the message," Chibs assured Juice. If there was one thing his fellow brothers understood; it was that it can take a mighty long time to readjust to living on the outside.

Chibs couldn't help but to feel excited by the fact that Juice and Allison, did not have any sort of romantic connection. He really could not wait until Allison stopped by the shop later in the afternoon to pick up Juice's keys.

* * *

><p>"Oh shit Kozik." The sound of Opie's gruff voice by his ear, was enough to wake Kozik out of his slumber.<p>

Without opening his eyes, Kozik grumbled, "Why are you in my house?"

"Dude its 6:00 o'clock at night. Have you been passed out this entire time?"

It took a moment for Opie's words to register. When they did, Kozik's eyes shot open and he stood up as fast as a lightning bolt.

"Oh shit," Kozik groaned as he clutched his stomach and ran to his kitchen sink. After a few very excruciating moments of regurgitating a bottle of whiskey, and a ham, lettuce, and mustard sandwich from the previous night; Kozik wiped his mouth off with the back of his hand. His head was pounding so badly, that he thought it might explode.

Opie opened up the fridge, grabbed a water bottle. He shoved the bottle it in front of Kozik's face which was still bowed over the sink.

"Ugh, thanks brother," Kozik groaned as he grabbed the water out of Opie's hand. He then staggered on over to the kitchen table and sat down on a chair.

Before he replied Opie, rinsed out the sink, grabbed a bottle of water from himself, and picked up the empty Jim Beam bottle on the floor. He then pulled out a chair for himself and sat down. "This why you missed the gun exchange with the Mayan's today?" Opie asked sternly as he set the empty bottle down onto the table.

"Ah shit brother, I'm sorry. I didn't-" Kozik tried to explain, but Opie cut him off.

"This is the second time this week you have been M.I.A. My old man was furious when you didn't show up today - don't even get me started on the fit Gemma had," Opie stated. Beating around the bush wasn't exactly his style, so he continued on, "Does you pickling yourself in a bottle of booze have anything to do with that redhead walking out of TM last night?"

Kozik nearly choked on the sip of water he was taking. Was it really that obvious…?

"No," Kozik lied.

Opie shot the blonde and exasperated glare, "Really brother? Then explain to me why there is a photo album full of pictures of you and her, sitting on your coffee table."

Kozik's eyes widened and his heart began to beat incredibly fast; he was pretty sure he was going to be sick again. He wanted to refute Opie's accusation, but no words came out of his mouth – Opie had caught him red handed.

"Uh huh," Opie said with a hint of self-righteousness. "You want to spill the beans brother? I mean things had to end pretty badly for you to do that much damage to yourself," Opie referred to the empty whiskey bottle.

Kozik bowed his head and shook it slowly, "You should go Opie. Thanks for checking in on me - I'll be okay. Tell your Pop and Gemma, that I'm fine and I'll be at the garage tomorrow."

"Alright brother, see you tomorrow." Opie sighed disappointed, but not at all surprised by Kozik's answer.

Opie knew that in time, the truth about Kozik and Allison would come out. It was clearly evident that Kozik was hurting big time. So, as long as this chick didn't cause him to start using again; Opie would leave the matter alone.

* * *

><p>Allison's could feel that her hands were jittery and her palms were damp with nervous sweat as she walked past the SAMCRO clubhouse. Logic told her that it was basically impossible that it was Kozik she heard laughing the night before, but her gut told her otherwise.<p>

She had barely gotten any sleep because she had been up all night, running through possible scenarios of what might happen if she did actually see that blond son of a bitch again. The thought of kicking him in the balls hard enough to send them back up into his body, had crossed her mind once or twice…

"There ya' are lassie. I was beginning ta think ya' wouldn't show," A familiar Scottish voice brought Allison out of her fretting.

Allison couldn't help but to smirk at the sexy, yet cheesy grin plastered across the approaching man's face. After her and Chibs had walked a few more paces; they were standing face to face, a few feet away from the office door.

"I'm sorry. I had to take care of a couple of errands today, and it took a little longer than I had anticipated," Allison lied with a fake friendly smile.

Really, Allison had been lounging around in her motel room all day, having a panic attack about made up scenarios about her and Kozik. By the time she had gotten her head out of her ass, she realized that it was 6:45pm – she had agreed to meet Chibs at 3:00pm.

"You consider four hours later_, a little longer than anticipated_?" Chibs teased Allison.

Allison chuckled at the jolly Scotsman, "Alright it was _a lot_ longer than anticipated. I am glad you are still around though. You didn't stick around just for me did you?"

She would feel bad if Chibs had waited around for four whole hours, just to give her a lousy set of house keys.

"Nah, I had a bunch of work ta catch up on around ere'," Chibs partially lied. Yes he did stick around to catch up on some work, but if it wasn't for Allison he would have been long gone come 5:00pm.

"Glad to hear," Allison replied feeling relieved. She did not catch onto Chibs' bluff.

"Aye, Juicy's stuff is in the office," Chibs smiled as he wrapped an arm around Allison's waist and guided her toward the open red door.

At first the shock of Chibs wrapping his arm around her waist startled her, but once she felt the warm heat of his toned body against hers; she relaxed completely.

Chibs was quite happy to say the least, that Allison had allowed him to keep his arm wrapped around her waist until they had entered the office. Once inside, Chibs shut the outside door behind them and reluctantly slid his arm off away from her waist. He walked over to the desk and opened up the top drawer.

Allison lingered by the door as Chibs tried to find the empty cottage cheese container which Gemma kept all of the spare keys in.

As he rummaged through the various papers and junk, he spoke, "I saw Juice today, and he was adamant to say the least about insisting you stay at his house. Ah, here we go!" Chibs proclaimed as pulled container out and set it on the desk. Once fished out the keys that belonged to Juice he closed the lid and sloppily threw the container back into the drawer.

Allison stepped forward as Chibs tossed her the keys, "Thanks, I really appreciate this."

"Anytime darling," Chibs replied as he scribbled something down on a piece of paper. He then walked up to Allison and held out the piece of paper, "Juice made it very clear that ya would like yer' space, but if you ever need anything lassie don't be afraid to call me."

Allison's jaw dropped slightly as she accepted the scrap of paper that had Chibs' number written on in. "I uh, that's – thanks I'll keep it in mind." She stuttered, mentally kicking herself in the butt for her lack of composure.

"Yer' welcome. I'll make sure that Gemma doesn't come barking on your door either," Chibs added as Allison turned around to leave.

Allison paused with her hand on the doorknob, and turned around. Kozik's damn face had been clogging up her mind so badly, that she had almost forgotten about Gemma. "Thanks, that'd make my life a hell of a lot easier."

"Aye, it would for most of us," Chibs laughed.

"Goodnight Fillip," Allison smiled before she left.

"Night," Chibs nodded. When Allison was a good distance away from garage, Chibs leaned against the doorframe and admired her figure as she walked away.

It had touched him that she used his given name instead of his nickname. It had been a long time since anybody had called him Fillip. He hoped like hell that within the next few days, he would answer his phone and hear her voice say his name again on the other end of the line.

* * *

><p>Kozik sat on the floor his shower, with his knees pulled up to his chest and his head in his hands. The steaming hot water poured down his body somewhat relieved the aching effects of his hangover.<p>

Through the trickling of the water, he could hear _Zac Brown Band's_ song _Free_, blasting from the stereo in his bedroom. The words in the chorus of the song, amplified the aching in his heart.

_Just as free  
>Free as we'll ever be<br>Just as free  
>Free as we'll ever be<br>Ever be_

No we don't have a lot of money  
>No we don't have a lot of money<br>No we don't have a lot of money  
>All we need is love<p>

"God I'm so sorry Allison," Kozik cried out as he wept harder than he had since he was a child.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hello there. So I am sorry that there was a delay in getting this out. It has been a crazy week and half for me!**

**There is a lot of foreshadowing in this chapter, but I won't point out exactly what it is because that would ruin all of the fun! :P **

**Thank you to all the people who have followed, favorited, and reviewed this story so far. I really appreciate the feedback.**

**Thanks for taking out the time to read, and please review! **


	4. Getting Ready to Move Forward

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sons of Anarchy, or any of Brad Paisley's music. Only my storyline and my OC's.**

* * *

><p>It was 10:30am, and TM Automotive was hopping. The garage kept getting call after call from people stranded with blown out tires, coming off of Highway 99. The ongoing construction, combined with the vast amounts of summer tourists travelling up and down California, meant that business wasn't going to slow down any time soon.<p>

Gemma growled in frustration as she slammed the phone down onto the receiver. She had just gotten off of the phone with another damn family travelling south who blew out a tire.

As irritating as the non-stop calls were, Gemma knew she couldn't bitch – while the Clay and boys were inside, the increase in business filled in the gap that the lack of club activity created.

Gemma got up from the desk, and stood in the doorway that separated garage from her office. Her arms were crossed, and her face was contorted into a very unimpressed scowl.

"Got another call for a tow on the ninety-nine turnoff, south side. Who wants to go?" Gemma hollered out into the garage.

Her question was met with a bunch preoccupied growls, and head shakes.

She let out a deep sigh. On days like this she felt more like she was a bitchy old schoolmarm, rather than a biker queen and an office manager.

"Miles, you don't look busy. Go grab Kozik, and head out to the ninety-nine," Gemma ordered.

Miles dropped the socket wrench he was holding onto the concrete floor. The loud clanging noise caused a few of the men to stop what they were doing for a second and stare at the befuddled man.

"Uh, I don't think that'll work Gemma," Miles said nervously as beads of sweat formed on his forehead.

"Excuse me?" Gemma was outraged at the newly patched member's reply.

"K, k, Kozik – uh he hasn't shown up yet today," Miles stammered nervously. All morning the men had been dancing around the topic of the blonde's absence. After witnessing the fit that Gemma threw the previous day, nobody wanted to be the poor sucker who had to tell Gemma, that Kozik was still missing.

"Where the hell is Kozik? Has anybody heard from him at all? He should have been here half an hour ago!" Gemma exclaimed sharply to no one in particular. She stamped her foot to emphasize her point.

Chibs looked up from the engine he was working on, "Yesterday after the meet with the Mayans, Opie said he'd stop by his place ta' make sure Kozy was okay."

"_And…?"_ Gemma scowled.

"Christ I don't know what happened! Go talk ta' Op – he's out back with Phil ripping the transmission out of that written off Buick." Chibs replied indignantly.

"You can bet your Scottish ass I will!" Gemma refuted furiously.

As she stomped through the garage, and headed toward the backdoor that led out to the lot where they kept all of the cars to be worked on; all of the men stepped out of the way. It was very obvious that Gemma, was seeing red.

"Opie!" Gemma yelled as the she flung open the beat up, metal door.

Both Opie and Phil lifted their heads out from under the hood of the Buick. They shared identical expressions of wide eyed, deep instilled fear.

"What the hell is wrong with Kozik? He should have been here an hour and a half ago!" Gemma exclaimed as he stormed towards the two men.

"He said he'd be here today. Give him a little bit longer to show up," Opie replied truthfully.

"This damn construction has us running around like headless chickens! We _need _Kozik's hands today!" Gemma snorted.

Opie let out a sigh. He did not wanting to divulge any more information about Kozik's situation, but he knew that if he didn't - Gemma, would drive over to Kozik's house and rip him a good one. Opie knew that typhoon Gemma, was the last thing Kozik needed at the moment.

"He's dealing with some personal shit. He just needs some time. If he doesn't show up by lunch, I'll drive over and see what's up." Opie explained calmly.

"Alright, but if he is late I am coming with you Opie!" Gemma knew that Opie was right, but that would be the last thing she would admit. She took a second to calm herself down before she addressed Phil, "Go with Miles, and pick up a blue Chevy Colbalt out on the 99."

"Yes Mam." Phil promptly replied. He then headed off toward the garage, followed by Gemma.

"No wait," Opie suddenly called out as he came jogging up to the pair, "I'll go with Miles – Phil can handle the Buick by himself."

Gemma raised her eyebrows, "Well alright. Only if you want to."

Opie nodded and quickly walked past Gemma and Phil, and back into the garage.

Phil gave Gemma a glance for confirmation. When she nodded her head, Phil casually sauntered back toward the Buick.

Gemma however, stood still a moment and pondered why Opie's actions. She had known Opie since the day he was born. He rarely – if ever – volunteered to put himself in a social situation. So why would he volunteer to go out on a pickup?

Opie was definitely up to something…

* * *

><p>Kozik had experienced plenty of hangovers in his lifetime, but his current one definitely took the cake.<p>

His head was pounding so hard, it felt like somebody was hitting him on the back of the head with a hammer, every few seconds. Even though he had drunken an ocean of water; his body still yearned for hydration. Kozik did catch one break however, because the six hours of sleep he had gotten had taken away most of his nausea.

He sighed as he slung his khaki backpack full of water bottles and Tylenol across his back. He knew that the guys would josh him about it bringing his own water, but he really didn't care. Kozik's poor physical state was nothing compare to how shitty he felt mentally.

How naive was he to really think that karma wouldn't come back and bite him in the ass?

Since that god awful day when SAMTAC got the call saying that Allison had been sentenced to life without parole - Kozik wished he could have turned back the clocks and save her.

He was the only person who knew everything about how fucked up her domestic life was with Paul. He knew he could have saved her. He yearned with all of his heart to save her… but it was a club decision. He couldn't betray the club because it would have put several lives in danger.

Kozik shook his head in an attempt to rid his brain of all his dark emotions. He was just about to straddle himself across his Dyna, when he saw the TM towing truck come screeching to a halt in front of his driveway. He was surprised the passenger door opened and Opie climbed out.

"Shit," Kozik muttered under his breath.

As Opie approached Kozik, he was relieved to see that Kozik was wearing his grey work shirt under his kutte. He did not want to have to give the blonde another lecture about shrugging off his responsibilities.

"Sup dude? I was just about to head over to the garage," Kozik addressed Opie.

"Good, because I just coming to kick your ass into gear," Opie replied with a hint of hesitation present in his tone. Kozik's scrutinizing look told Opie he needed to elaborate. "Look brother," Opie continued, "Gemma was absolutely livid a half an hour ago when she found out that you are late. She asked what was going on with you."

Kozik's stomach suddenly started to feel queasy again. He did not need Gemma, knowing anything at all about him and Allison.

"What exactly did you say to her?"

"Just that you needed some time to work out some personal shit. I never said anything about you being hungover but, judging by your appearance and that backpack which I assume is full of water and other goodies – she's going to figure it out."

"Thanks for the heads up brother," Kozik sighed as sat down on his bike. "You better get going. Miles looks like he is about to shit his pants if he waits any longer."

"Yeah he does," Opie chuckled as he looked over his shoulder at the truck. He then turned around and headed back to the truck, "See you this afternoon dude."

"Yeah see ya," Kozik called back as he watched Opie climb into the truck.

This was going to be one shitty day.

* * *

><p>Gemma looked up from her computer screen to the Harley-Davidson clock, hanging on the wall. It was 12:07 and still no sign of Kozik. She ripped her reading glasses off of her face, and threw them down onto the desk.<p>

"Chucky, get yourself and those creepy little nubs in here!" Gemma hollered.

Within seconds, a very jittery Chucky came charging into the office from outside. He knelt down on one knee and proclaimed, "Your steadfast and ever ready squire is ready to serve the Queen of the office, in any way he can!"

"You better knock off all of that, dark ages, royal majesty shit, before I chop off the remaining two fingers you have!" Gemma was not in a mood for one of Chucky's eccentric personalities.

Chucky's eyes widened in fear, "yes Mam!"

"Kozik –"

"Still is not here," Chucky finished her sentence for her.

"Well I am going to go drag his sorry self over her by his balls," Gemma huffed angrily. She stood up, grabbed her purse from beside her desk, and stormed out of the office.

Chucky watched Gemma walk away, very thankful for the fact that he was not Kozik today.

Just as Gemma was about to get into her SUV, a motorcycle roared into the compound. Once recognized that it was Kozik - she slammed her car door shut, and stormed over to his parked bike.

"Where the hell have you been?!" Gemma roared as Kozik climbed off of his bike.

"At home," Kozik said curtly, as he took off his helmet and rested it on a handlebar.

"Home?" Gemma asked aggressively.

"Yeah," Kozik replied as he took his sunglasses off, and wrapped them around his neck.

"Yesterday too?"

"Yes," Kozik's irritation was growing by the second.

Gemma was not at all impressed with his foul attitude. She put a hand on her hip, and snorted, "Judging by the green look on your face, I am assuming you had a bottle of booze to keep you company?"

"Who do you think you are, my Mother? I'm going to work, and I suggest you do too Gemma. There is nothing more for us to discuss." Kozik shot back as he walked past Gemma.

Gemma stood with her mouth gaping. She had known Kozik for several years, and not once had he ever spoken to her so rudely.

There was definitely something up with him, and it was Gemma's job to find out just exactly what it was.

* * *

><p>"Thanks for coming shopping with me, today. I really appreciated the company," Allison said to Rachel as they exited Emeryville mall.<p>

"I'll never turn down an invitation to shopping," Rachel laughed. "You sure put that money I gave you to good use today. Now you have a full wardrobe!"

"You will note that not one article of clothing is orange," Allison replied sarcastically.

Before she went to jail she didn't mind the colour orange but, after wearing it for several consecutive years; she loathed the colour with a passion. The colour it reminded her of all the dark, vile moments of the past seven years.

It reminded her of Paul's mutilated corpse – and how she couldn't stop smashing his face in with that frying pan until it was unrecognizable.

It reminded her of Briella's shrieks of pain and fright as she lay in a pool of her own blood, with both of her femurs prominently protruding from her pierced skin.

It reminded her of the look on Kozik's face, when he lied and said that he and the club would make everything alright.

"And I do not blame you for that!" Rachel responded when the pair reached Allison's truck. She handed Allison the two bags of hers she was holding, "here is the rest of your clothes."

"Thanks," Allison said as she grabbed the bags. She opened the tailgate and put all of her bags in the truck bed.

"So when are you moving into Juan Carlos' place?" Rachel asked.

"Tomorrow - I just got the keys last night." Allison replied with a bit of hesitation. She didn't want to tell Rachel about the whole Chibs scenario.

"That's good." Rachel was about to ask if SAMCRO had poised any problems yet, but before she could her cell phone rang. She fished it out of her purse and frowned when she saw the number, "I'm sorry, but I have to run. The D.A.'s office is calling me."

"No problem, I'll talk to you later," Allison smiled.

Rachel gave her a nod of thanks before she answered her phone, and walked away in the direction of her own vehicle.

Allison closed the tailgate, rolled the down and secure the protective cover before she got inside of her truck. Before she set her purse down on the passenger seat, she pulled out a CD. She stared at the cover of the album for almost five minutes before she built up the courage to unwrap the plastic, and popped the disc into the stereo.

As sound of a sawing fiddle slowly started to crescendo; Allison found herself being drawn back into a happier, simpler time.

* * *

><p>"<em>Mommy, look at how high I can jump!" Briella giggled as she bounced about on the large circular trampoline.<em>

_Allison grinned at how happy her daughter looked. Going against Paul's wishes and buying that trampoline for her at the beginning of the summer, was probably one of the best choices Allison had made in a long time. _

"_I see sweetie," Allison called out from the lounger on the deck. _

_There was not one cloud in the sky on this particular July, afternoon. It was hot, but not scorching hot. But what made this day even nicer was that fact that __Briella was happy. __If her daughter was happy, then Allison was also happy._

_What made the day even more enjoyable was the fact that Paul, had left that morning to go visit his family in Chicago for two weeks._

_Allison's and Paul's marriage had really deteriorated in the last five months. They fought a lot about the business arrangement the MC had with his family's enterprise in California. _

_The arrangement required him to leave for weeks and weeks at a time. Yes, it brought in a hell of a lot more cash for SAMTAC, but every time Paul came home from one of these business trips, he was seemed even more short-tempered and paranoid than the previous trip. Paul also began to drink more and more since he began travel. _

_Allison had no idea what went on while he was away to change his behaviour so drastically, and quite frankly – she was scared to find out._

_She tried to ask him after about it once, after he came home from his second trip. Paul simply told her that she was an old lady, and she shouldn't be sticking her bitchy nose into the club's affairs. He then threatened to take all of Briella's stuffed animals and burn them in front of her. He said that he'd tell Briella that it was all Mommy's fault that her animals were gone, and that she would not be allowed to buy anymore._

_That comment solidified Allison's suspicion that whatever was going on in California, was some serious shit. For the past few years, Paul had really become a bastard but threatening to hurt their daughter had really taken it to a whole new level. _

_Allison never really took shit from Paul – or anybody for that matter. But once he had started to use threats against Briella to keep Allison, "in check" - she started to become far more submissive. Allison didn't care if Paul hurt her, but she would kill herself before she let anybody harm her baby girl. If giving into Paul's new found malicious and domineering tendencies meant keeping Briella safe and happy; so be it. _

_The sound of a motorcycle roaring into her neighbour's driveway brought Allison out of her thoughts about Paul. About thirty seconds later, she saw the patio door of the house directly across the back alley from her's open. She then saw the familiar sight of a chocolate lab bounding outside, followed by her blonde haired owner. _

"_Your home early," Allison called out cheerfully._

_Kozik cracked a smile at the sight of Allison lounging in a pair of jean shorts and a lime green bikini top. Her hair was let down and was glistening in the sunshine. _

"_Wasn't much going on at the shop or with the club today," Kozik hollered back. _

"_Hi Mr. Kozik," Briella chimed as she continued to jump about on her trampoline. _

_He chuckled at the sight of a mop of black curly hair go flying up into the air every few seconds, over the top of Allison's brown painted wooden fence._

"_Are you having fun outside with your Mom, today?" Kozik addressed the little girl._

"_Lots and lots of fun!" Briella answered back, still jumping away._

"_Why don't you and Molly come over for bit? We've got the pool set up." Allison said as she stood up and pulled her arms upwards into a stretch._

_Kozik stood entranced for a moment, as he watched how Allison's breasts pressed together, and moved upward and outward until she brought her arms back down to her sides. _

_Despite the sudden throbbing in his pants, Kozik managed to articulate a reply,_ "_Uh yeah sure, just let me just go change and we'll be right over." _

_About ten minutes later, Kozik emerged from his house wearing a pair of black swim trunks, a plain grey t-shirt, and pair of cheap, grey, fabric flip-flops. He had a towel draped across his shoulder and Molly's black leather, Harley Davidson leash in his hand. _

_He walked over to the tree that Molly was lounging under and kneeled down to her eye level, "Come on girl. It's time to go chill with the hot neighbour lady." _

_Molly raised her furry ears upward, and shot her owner a covetous glare._

_Kozik sighed – he swore that dog understood English. _

"_Baby," Kozik said as he slowly scratched Molly behind her ears, "you know that matter what, you're always going to be my favorite girl. Nobody can keep my feet warm at night as well as you do. You can also play fetch with Briella."_

_Molly took a moment to decided whether or not he was bullshitting her or not. After she decided on the latter, Molly willing sprung up onto her four paws._

"_Good girl," Kozik cooed as he hooked Molly's collar to the leash. _

_When Allison saw Kozik's gate open; she hopped up from the patio chair she was sitting in, put out her cigarette, and jogged down the steps of the deck to open the back gate. _

"_Look who's here Briella," Allison called out to her daughter as Kozik and Molly stepped into their yard._

_Briella immediately stopped jumping, and craned her head over her shoulder to the direction of her Mom's voice. Once she saw the brown lab standing by the gate, she climbed off of her trampoline and exited through the small mess door in the protective safety barrier. __Her eyes shone bright with joy as she began to run toward the Labrador._

"_Molly!" Briella squealed in delight._

_Molly perked up in excitement at the sight of the little girl bounding towards her. True to her breed, Molly was a very gentle dog and really enjoyed playing with children - especially Briella._

"_Go get her girl," Kozik said as he unhooked Molly from her leash. _

_It was hard to tell who was more excited to see one another; Molly or Briella. _

_Allison and Kozik stood still for a few moments, and watched Molly licked Briella on the face while Briella giggled. It was hard to tell who was more excited to see one another; Molly or Briella._

"_What a pair those two are," Allison chuckled._

"_Yeah, that's for sure," Kozik smiled. He scratched the back of his head nervously as he asked, "you sure this is cool. I mean Paul left this morning, right?"_

_Allison bit her upper lip, and tried not to laugh at the adorably awkward expression on Kozik's face. _

"_Yes he did. I invited you over, remember? I know we're both not spring chickens anymore, but your memory can't be that bad!" Allison teased._

_Kozik laughed – he loved it when Allison teased him. _

"_Just wanted to make sure I wouldn't end up having a tire iron cracked across the back of my skull. And for the record, you still look like a spring chicken." Kozik said with a wink. _

_Hearing Kozik's last sentence made Allison's cheeks heat up. She felt a tingling, thrilling sensation travel down her spine as she felt Kozik's eyes take in her body. _

"_Ella sweetie, do you want to go play in the swimming pool with me and Mr. Kozik?" Allison asked her daughter whom was still busy petting, and receiving licks from Molly._

_Briella lifted her head away from Molly's face, with a wide eyed expression on her face, "Really Mommy! Can we play dive for the rings, and piggy in the middle like we did last time?"_

"_Sure sweetie," Allison smiled. _

"_But what about Molly?" Briella didn't want to leave her furry friend out of the fun._

"_Uh-" Allison looked at Kozik unsure as how to answer._

_Her entire life Allison had been a cat person. Molly was the first dog she had really gotten to know and interacted with. She had no clue if Labradors were good swimmers or not – or if dogs should even be allowed in swimming pools. _

"_Molly can come and play too. She loves swimming!" Kozik happily responded to Briella's question._

"_Come on, Molly!" Briella said grinning ear to ear as she dashed toward the mid-sized above ground pool. Of course – Molly was only a pace behind._

_Allison stood beside Kozik, she suddenly felt her nerves kick in. What if he had only intended to come over for a few minutes? Did he have other plans? Was he just humoring her, the lonely old lady with the little kid who is always around? _

"_Sure you don't mind spending some time with us? I mean if you had any other plans –" Allison rambled on nervously._

_It took her by surprise when Kozik, wrapped one of his arms around her waist, and softly rested a hand over top of her mouth._

"_Shhh – stop worrying if I like spending time with you and Briella or not," Kozik spoke tenderly, seemingly reading Allison's exact thoughts. He lifted his hand off of her mouth, and slowly snaked it down her cheek, to back of her neck, and all the way down her spine until it sat opposite his other hand on her hips. _

_Allison felt like every cell in her body was alive with that certain tingling, tantalizing tension a person feels when the person they are attracted to touches them. _

_She lifted her arms up from her sides, and slid up Kozik's abdomen until they rest on either side of his pectorals. _

"_Trust me, I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be," Kozik whispered, his voice shaky with sexual tension. The feeling of her feminine figure wrapped in his arms and her small slender hands placed on his chest, felt a thousand times better than he ever could have imagined. _

_Allison diverted her eyes away from grey fabric of Kozik's t-shirt, and tilted her head upwards to see that Kozik's kind, crystal blue eyes were full of passion._

_This was it. _

_After all of these years of ignoring the undeniable chemistry between one another, they were about to throw in the towel and finally admit how they really felt. _

"_Mommy! Mr. Kozik! Aren't you coming? Me and Molly want to go swimming already! Remember the rule – I can't get in the pool without a grown up!" Briella's innocent young voice broke the spell of the moment Allison and Kozik were in._

_They immediately took their hands off of one another and took a step backwards. A shade of soft pink spread across both Allison's and Kozik's cheeks; they both had momentarily forgotten where they were and that there was a child present watching their every move._

"_Coming Ella'," Allison hollered, as she fought back a mischievous smirk._

* * *

><p><em>After swimming for almost two hours, everybody returned to their perspective houses to shower and change into fresh clothes. <em>

_When Kozik and Molly returned to Allison's house; Kozik's brought with him an armful of food that he was going to barbeque for them. His intention was to treat Allison, and give her a night off for once._

_Kozik knew from comments Allison made here and there, that when Paul was actually home he never lifted a finger to help out his wife. __It completely baffled Kozik that despite the fact Allison worked thirty hours a week, kept an impeccably clean home, and practically raised Briella by herself - Paul did not seem to give two shits about the wonderful woman that was his wife and the beautiful, energetic daughter they had brought into the world._

_Allison however, refuted the notion of her having to sit around and watch Kozik do all the work. It was sweet gesture but, it was Allison's house and he was her guest. _

_After an endless bombardment of persuasive remarks from Allison; Kozik reluctantly gave in and allowed her to help with the prep work. He actually was happy that she helped him in the kitchen because it gave him the opportunity to discretely brush his body against hers and they navigated around the kitchen. _

_This sight of Allison in a bikini earlier that day was still vividly burned into Kozik's mind. As much as he tried not to; he found himself staring at her round, soft D-cups more than once. It also really did not help that Allison's bikini top wasn't lined so, her small, hard, round nipples pressed against the lime green fabric as if they were trying to break free. __It took almost all of his mental power to think about anything except how much he wanted pull at the strings of Allison's bikini top, and run his hands over her breasts. The image of her in a bikini would be more than enough to get himself off for a long time to come. _

_By eight o'clock, they had finished eating supper and had cleaned up all of the dishes. Once they were done the dishes, Allison had tried to get Briella to go to sleep in her bedroom but she refused._

_Briella was drop dead tired by that point. She could not remember if she had ever had so much fun in her life – certainly not while her Dad was around. After having such an exciting day, Briella had decided that Mr. Kozik was a lot more fun to play with than Daddy. She also liked playing with Mr. Kozik better because she noticed he made Mommy smile unlike Daddy, who usually made Mommy sad. _

_Allison was in too good of a mood to want to argue with her daughter, so they came to a compromise. Briella could sleep outside on the deck in the lounger, while Mommy and Mr. Kozik sat on the other side of the deck on the patio swing._

_Molly was about to curl up on the swing beside her owner, when Allison remerged from the house with a very tired Briella staggering behind in her pajama's. _

_Molly perked up at the sight of Briella. The dog looked up at Kozik, asking silent permission to leave his side. After she had received an affirmative ear scratch and rump pat; Molly got up and curled up on the lounger on the far side of the deck with, Briella. Molly had her exposed front leg draped across Briella's body, so that Briella's head was nestled into the crook of Molly's furry shoulder. __So, Allison brought out Briella's favorite fuzzy purple blanket and tucked the two tired girls in together._

_After she tucked them in, grabbed her beer off of the patio table and sat down beside Kozik on the swing._

"_Quite a pair those two are," Kozik chuckled softly, referring to Briella and Molly._

"_Like two peas in a pod," Allison replied before she took a swig of her Budweiser. "Supper was good tonight. You really need to teach me how to grill chicken breasts like that. I have never seen Briella eat so much meat in one sitting." _

_Like most typical six year olds, Briella was a fussy eater. Lately, Allison felt like every mealtime was some sort of odd haggling competition between her and Briella. _

_If there was one thing Briella inherited from her Father, it was a strong sense of stubbornness and the ability to talk fast. _

_Kozik felt his pride swell, "Yeah for sure - that'd be cool."_

"_Thank you for today. It has been awhile since Briella has been so happy. I think she has be picking up on the problems Paul and I have been having when he's home. Lately, she has been more on the quiet side. She really likes it when you and Molly come over," Allison paused and looked down at her lap, "I really enjoy the time we have been spending together lately."_

_She wanted to go on and ask if Kozik meant what she thought he meant, when he said that he wouldn't be around her if he didn't want to be, earlier – but didn't from feeling a lack of confidence. _

_Kozik read her body language and picked up on what she going to say. _

_Normally he would be the cocky type who would simply say that he wanted to be a lot more than friends with her, but he too felt nervous about the subject. __Moving forward with Allison wouldn't be like all of the other women he had been interested in. This was completely different because getting involved with one of his brother's old ladies could yield some very serious consequences._

_But in that moment Kozik was not a member of the Sons of Anarchy, and Allison wasn't somebody else's old lady – they were just two individuals who shared a uniquely strong connection._

_Allison was anxious and surprised when Kozik did not reply comment right away. Instead, he grabbed the beer bottle from her grasp and set it aside on the deck railing, along with his own beer. He then stood up and held out a hand for her to grasp._

_She looked up at him, completely confused by his actions. What in God's name was he doing now?_

"_Dance with me, Allie," Kozik said softly. _

_In the background, Brad Paisley's song, Part II - was quietly emanating from the small stereo on the patio table. _

_Allison accepted Kozik hand and stood up. He then loosely guided her by the hand to the large space between the table set, and the steps that led down to the yard. He placed his free hand in the small of her back, and held their already conjoined hands up to his chest. Allison placed her free hand on his well sculpted shoulder._

_There was a definite height difference between the pair - Allison was five feet and seven inches tall while Kozik, stood six feet and one inch tall. To compensate for the difference, Allison simply rested her head against his chest to make it less awkward. _

_When Allison rested her head against him, Kozik, blessed whatever freakishly tall ancestors he had to thank for his height and large build._

_The warmth of his body heat combined with the smell of cologne and tobacco, seemed to draw Allison into a state of blissful intoxication. _The way Kozik held Allison in his strong yet, very tender grasp felt completely natural._ She had no idea simply being held by a man could be such a passionate experience. _

_When the song started to fade away, they stopped moving. Allison lifted her head off of Kozik's chest and he looked down at her. _

_They were both highly pleased and little surprised at the same time, by what they felt as they looked at each other. _

_Romantic movies and books have always gone on and on since the dawn of time, about how when two people are really in love; their partner can gaze into their shimmering eyes and see who they are right down to the epicenter of their soul. _

_Neither Allison nor Kozik had ever bought into such a fluffy, fairytale type romance. The notion was complete malarkey to them. __Both individuals had been dealt a pretty tough hand in life, and knew that reality was often a harsh son of bitch._

_But as their eyes locked in that very moment, they both knew why the idea of love was so prominent in literature and in film; a euphoric, soul binding connection was real. They didn't have to say it, because they saw it in each other's eyes - in their souls._

_Herman Kozik and Allison Magagnoli loved each other._

_Without saying a word, Kozik leaned down and slowly closed the gap between his and Allison's lips. When their lips finally connected both stood paralyzed for a moment taking in each other's natural taste. _

_Allison was the first one to move, as she moved her arms to circle around them around his neck. This prompted Kozik to deepen the passion of the kiss, but not too much. Gradually, their kisses intensified to the point where they were desperate for oxygen and had to break away._

_Allison buried her face into the crook of his neck, while Kozik rested his against the side her head. _

_After a few seconds of heavy breathing Kozik, pulled Allison even tighter to his body and murmured, "You're not alone anymore, Allie. I love you and I am never going to let you slip away."_

* * *

><p>After listening to Part II, twice – Allison found herself approaching the, "Welcome to Charming" sign on the highway.<p>

She let out a dreary sigh, as her mind drifted out of the memory of when her and Kozik, first admitted their feelings of affection to one another.

Looking down at the dashboard, Allison saw that she was running on under a quarter tank of gas. As she drove into Charming's city limits she pulled up to the first gas station she saw.

"Back to fucking reality," Allison muttered to herself as she pulled up to the gas bar.

When she hopped out of her truck, she noticed that a Dyna motorcycle with a Sons of Anarchy reaper painted on the gas tank. Her heart seemed to skip a beat at the sight of the bike. The delusional thought that it could be Kozik's popped into her head. After a brief moment of panic, she snapped herself out it.

She was living in Charming - the Mother charter of the entire MC. Fearing what the reaper represented to her was an obstacle she really needed to overcome. She would run into club members from time to time which was simply something she had to learn to live with now that she was on the outside.

At times like this, Allison found herself thinking that in some ways it was easier to live in prison.

When Allison finished filling up and went inside to pay, she found herself pleasantly surprised and relieved at seeing that the owner of the Dyna, was Chibs.

Feeling a lot more at ease, Allison walked up to the counter to pay.

"Just the gas for you tonight?" The very bored teenage boy behind the till asked Allison.

"Add on two bottles o' water and a pack of Marlboro Red." A thick Scottish voice bellowed out from behind Allison, startling her.

"That'll be eight-three dollars and seventeen cents," the clerk said as he rung in Chibs' items.

Before Allison could refuse Chibs' offer, he had already handed the clerk the cash. After he gave Chibs' his change, the clerk walked away to go stock some shelf.

"You really don't have to do that. Here I'll give you some cash," Allison said as she began to rummage in her purse for her wallet.

"No ya' won't," Chibs stated firmly as he placed his hand Allison's shoulder.

"But that's like sixty bucks worth of gas. Besides, I don't hardly know you," Allison refuted looking up from her purse to Chibs' face.

"You just got out from doing some time. Having been there and done that, I know that cash must be a scare commodity. Consider this my treat," Chibs smiled.

"I don't know –" Allison began to argue, but Chibs cut her off.

"If you really want to pay me back, how bout' you consider using that number I gave ya' last night to call me up for a drinks once you are all settled in," Chibs replied remembering Juice's warning to give her some space.

"Uh," Allison was floored by Chibs' comment, "sure I'll do that."

Chibs' face broke out into a wide grin, "Great, I'll be looking forward to your call." He then grabbed his water and smokes off of the counter, and winked at Allison before he left the store, "Good running into you, Allison."

"You too Filip."

After Chibs had left, Allison stood still for a moment trying to wrap her mind around what had just happened.

She must have gone off of the deep end because she actually just agreed to drinks with a club member…

If she would actually follow through on her promise… probably not.

* * *

><p>Kozik sat on his living room sofa, staring at the photo album full of pictures of him and Allison on resting open on the small glass and cast iron, coffee table.<p>

Unlike the previous night, he had a glass full of water - not whiskey in his hand.

Now that he had sobered up and the worst of his hangover had vanished, he was livid at himself for losing control like he had.

Allison was the only person in the world that never held his addictive tendencies above his head, and used them to make him feel like shit. If she knew how he crawled inside of a bottle for a buzz, instead of manning up and owning his guilt for what he did to her; Allison would be completely disgusted with him.

Tomorrow, after he was done with the garage and the small amount of business the club had to deal with – Kozik was going to drive over to Willie's Motel and knock on the door of number sixteen.

He needed to tell Allison that how sorry he was… and that he still loved her with all of his heart.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hello there! I am so sorry this took forever to post! My course load has been super heavy lately. I also took a lot of time to make sure I was 100% happy with the flashback scene. I hope I really gave you readers a good impression of just how strong Allison's and Kozik connection was/is. **

**Next chapter Allison has another run in with Gemma and few other of our favorite character. You maybe will also get to witness Kozik and Allison reuniting... **

**And for all of you people out there who don't listen to Brad Paisley, Part II was his second studio album (and there was also a song on it called part II). If you listen to the song, it could give you a good inclination to how this story MAY play out. No guarantee's! **

**Thanks to all the people who have followed/ favorite/ reviewed this story so far! I really appreciate the feedback and am glad that people are liking my story.**

**Thanks for reading, and please review if you have thoughts. I would really appreciate it because I worked very hard on this chapter.**


	5. A Very Rotten Day

**Disclaimer: I only own my original story line, and my OC's. Kurt Sutter owns everything else. **

* * *

><p>Allison was wide awake as she lay in her bed at the motel. She had only managed to get about four hours of sleep, due to her mental unrest.<p>

There was this heavy feeling in the pit of her stomach that something very bad, was going to happen very soon. What did it mean exactly? Allison had no fucking clue. It was driving her absolutely insane though, because she usually she had a pretty good idea of what her intuition was trying to tell her.

Her run in with Chibs at the convenience store was also plaguing her mind. She did not believe that she had actually agreed to have a drink with him – a patched member of the Sons of Anarchy.

She had only been on the outside for one week, and she was pissed off at herself for faltering on her vow to stay as far away from the MC - excluding Juice - as much as humanly possible. The undersexed, irrational part of her mind wanted her to actually go through with her promise and call up the handsome Scotsman.

However, the logical side of her brain told her she should run as far away from the man as possible. Allison had tried a relationship with a Son twice – both times it failed miserably. So why would any sane person want go down that road again?

The couple in the room above her's also contributed to her lack of sleep. They were going at it like rabbits for at least three hours already. They made their bed shake so hard that Allison could feel the walls vibrate in her room. She could even tell every time they changed positions because the woman yelped out like deranged horse. Allison was sure that when the woman reached her climax; her scream was shrill enough to summon some sort of evil, ancient God from the past.

When the couple began to go at it for the fourth time; Allison gave up all hope of ever falling back to sleep.

She rolled from her back onto her side, to see what time it was. When she saw that bulky, wood paneled, digital alarm clock read 4:06am – Allison died a bit inside. She had a long assed day ahead of her, and being as exhausted as all hell certainly did not help her bad mood.

"Might as well get up…" Allison grumbled to herself as she rolled out of bed.

It took her about an hour to do her morning stretches, shower, style her hair, and apply a bit of makeup. After getting ready, she gathered up her several bags full of purchases from the last seven days and loaded up her truck.

As Allison locked the door to that shitty motel for the last time, she felt like she was about to step off the precipice of the current chapter of her life to begin a whole new one. She had no idea what this new chapter would look like, but she was excited none the less.

Despite all of the obstacles that had been thrown in her path, she had come out victorious. Allison was a free, healthy, competent, independent woman. So as far as she was concerned, SAMTAC and Paul's entire fucking family could burn in hell.

Losing her daughter, her lover, her freedom and dignity, was supposed to break Allison to the point of no return. She was expected to just accept that fact that it was her duty to let them sweep her under the rug like an unwanted dust bunny.

Those Italian pricks and Harley riding assholes clearly had no idea about who Allison was, or what she was capable of.

The world was now hers and she was free to manipulate the path of _her own life_.

* * *

><p>It had taken Allison about forty minutes of driving around the fair sized town of Charming, until she finally found Juice's street. She was quite relieved and pleased at what she saw; knowing how minimal a club member's income could be at times<p>

Vermilion Avenue was located in a fairly good neighbourhood. It was far from being Beverly Hills, but was by no means a ghetto. Her first clue was that there were no iron bars on windows, or big burly dogs chained up outside.

Brick and wood sided bungalows from the 1970's, lined both sides of the street. All were painted various hews of bright colours. Flower gardens lined the sides of houses, which were compliment by richly green, mowed lawns.

Allison was somewhat wary by what she saw as she parked her truck in the drive way of house number 2219. Juice's house was in the right in the center of his side of the street. The look of it matched that of the rest of the street.

The wooden siding of his house was painted white, while three moss green bands circled the perimeter of the house, all varying in width. There was a large single door garage attached to the front of the house. To the right of the garage, there was a small sized, screened enclosed, front porch. The wooden bordering and pillars that held up the screening were painted white. On the roof, the light grey shingles the covered it looked pretty tattered - but that was to be expected on such a dated house.

Compared to his neighbour's front yards, Allison observed that Juice's yards was in very sorry shape. The grass stood about three feet tall, and had random bald patches scattered throughout. Clearly nobody had bothered to mow his grass for several months. No flowers or trees of any sort were present within the bounds of Juice's property lines. It was safe to say the Juice's yard was the ugly duckling of the street…

Allison grabbed her purse off of the passenger seat, and got out of her truck. As she walked up the five concrete steps that lead up onto the porch, she hoped that the interior of the house wasn't as ratty looking as the exterior was.

The screen door that entered the porch had no lock on it, so Allison, didn't bother pulling out the house keys from her purse until she was standing inside the porch.

After Allison unlocked the deadbolt on the house door, she held the key in the doorknob lock for a moment. She prayed that the lesson of the importance of keeping a clean home which she had taught Juice so many years ago, had stuck with him.

When Allison twisted the doorknob and stepped inside Juice's home; she felt a wave of repose wash over body.

Directly in front of her was a nice sized living room. There was a black suede couch perched in front of a 45inch flat screen TV. Black plastic shelves were mounted on either side of the wall behind of the TV, and were stocked full of assorted video games and DVD's. Spread around the room was speakers of various sizes and shapes, all part of a high tech home theater system.

Allison chuckled to herself – Juice sure loved his technology.

Reaper flags and other Anarchy ordainment were scattered throughout the room. The harsh blackness of the décor contrasted highly, with the off white walls and dull brown shag carpet.

The corners of Allison's mouth slowly curved upward into a smirk when she noticed that every inch of the room looked absolutely spotless – Juice was still a clean freak.

Allison walked over to the couch and threw her purse down on it before went to go explore the rest of the house.

The far end of the living room merged into the main hallway. On the opposite side of the hallway was a small kitchen area. The walls in the kitchen were painted the same off white shade that lined the walls in the hallway and kitchen. The countertops were the same dated, moss green colour of linoleum that covered the floor. True to the era, the kitchen sink and oven were also the same shade of green. Allison was thankful to see that at least Juice had bothered to put in a modern era, stainless steel dishwasher and fridge. In the middle of the kitchen was a round wooden table with four matching chairs.

Allison shook her head as she followed the hallway to rest of the house, wondering how Juice could stand living with such an ugly assed kitchen. But then again, Juice had never been one to cook lots either.

The next room Allison explored was on the right hand side of the hallway, which was the bathroom. Allison died a bit inside when she saw that the colour scheme was the same as in the kitchen. The bathtub, sink, and toilet were the same nightmare inspiring green. Once again, the walls were a depressing shade of off white. The floor however, was covered with large, dark brown tiles which had a crème coloured floral design in the center.

Apparently Allison was going to have to adapt to seeing green and brown…

When she continued her tour of the house, the next room Allison ventured into was the spare bedroom where she would be staying. There wasn't much in it except a queen sized mattress on plain, medium stained, oak bedframe. At the far end of the room, there was a large dresser which matched the bedframe. Much to Allison's dismay the walls and carpet were the same as in the living room. She was definitely going to have to do something to spruce up the room once she was settled in.

The two other rooms of the house were the laundry room at the end of the hallway, and Juice's room which was directly across from Allison's room.

There was a closed door on the far left hand side of the hallway which Allison figured led down to some sort of basement. She thought about going down to explore it, but ultimately thought the better of it when her irrational fear of basements kicked in.

After her god awful experience with Paul in their basement back in Tacoma, Allison avoided the things like the plague. A ridiculous phobia was just another thing Allison could tick off on a list of ways Paul, fucked up her life.

When her little exploration had concluded, Allison decided that she would be content with her shelter for the next four months. The house was small and fairly dated, but compared to the concrete 8 by 10 Allison was used to - Juice lived in fucking a mansion.

* * *

><p>Kozik stood in front of the mirror covered closet doors, in his bedroom. He wore nothing but a white towel wrapped around his waist. His blonde hair was damp from his shower and stood out in a million different directions.<p>

He scrutinized every little detail of his physique from his tattoo's, to his muscle tone, to his scars, and the even wrinkles around his eyes and across his forehead.

When his eyes fell upon the jagged, ten inch long scar that stretched along the inside of his right thigh – Kozik grimaced at the memory of the god awful day he had acquired the scar.

It was a cool night in 1991 – well as cool as nights can get in the Kuwait desert. He, along with the rest of his Marine Company was tasked with the mission of clearing out a small abandoned village. For the first portion of the village, everything was fine. No enemy resistance anywhere… but then they started to go off.

_Landmines _

Lots and lots of them.

Apparently in the interval between the civilians fleeing and the Marines advancing, the enemy decided the plant mines underneath the houses and streets. Once his comrades started to trip the mines, enemy snipers began to open fire. All around him Kozik, saw his buddies fall to the ground from either the never ending rainfall of bullets. If they didn't get shot, their bodies were blown up to the high heavens.

Despite the destruction, Kozik and his squad continued on with their mission which was to reach the small mosque and secure it. They had almost reached their objective when the Wilson, the man on point, fatally stepped on a mine.

There was no time to even comprehend what was happening. All Kozik remembered was hearing a high pitched whine, the sensation of his body flying backward, and seeing his comrades' body disassemble in a violate fashion. He felt a crippling sting shoot up from his right leg, before the world faded into a definitive blackness.

When he awoke in the field hospital several hours later, he was informed that he was the only surviving member of his squad. If Kozik wouldn't have been the last one in line, he would have been obliterated along with the rest of his buddies. He escaped with a concussion, a broken right tibia, and a fairly large piece of shrapnel embedded into his right thigh. Thankfully, the shrapnel had only slightly nicked his femoral artery so medics and doctors were able to save his life.

His injuries were enough to send him back to the States with an honourable medical discharge. Once Kozik was back in the States, his rehabilitation began – which awoke a menacing demon.

To cope with pain, the doctors had prescribed him a cocktail of painkillers. Within days, he began to enjoy the dull floating sensation the drugs gave him. Months later when he was all healed and his medications had run out, his body still yearned for the high. So, he found out how to get more pills off of the street from one of his discharged Marine buddies.

The more pills he took, the less intense the high felt. This led him to expand his drug horizon. Over a course of two years, he went from popping Oxycontin and Vicodin's; to eventually shooting up heroin.

By that point, Kozik was living alone in some ghetto apartment, in a bad district in his hometown of San Jose, California. He had given up trying to hold a job, so he began to shoplift to finance his habit. One night he and a few of his other drug buddies were high and got caught trying to shoplift electronics from a department store.

Just as fast as that landmine Kuwait had ruined his life, Kozik found himself stuck with a ten thousand dollar fine and a two year prison sentence.

While he was inside, his older brother Nathan proposed a deal to him. If Kozik would promise to stay clean once he was on the outside – Nathan would pay off his fine.

Nathan was twelve years older than Kozik. He owned and operated a customized motorcycle garage, so he could afford to take a ten thousand dollar dent. He hoped that prison was the wakeup call his little brother needed to get his ass back on the right path.

In some ways prison did give Kozik, the wake up call he needed. What was the point of life if you stumbled through it, half bright and foggy eyed all the time?

Once Kozik got out, Nathan had a mechanic's position waiting from him at his shop. Kozik however declined, and decided that he needed to go somewhere quieter than San Jose, if he wanted to stay sober.

He knew buddy from his teenage years who was a mechanic in the quaint town of Charming. His buddy told him of an opening at the garage where he worked at, TM Automotive. Kozik took the job, and after that – the rest is history.

Allison was the only person in the world, other than his brother, who knew how and why Kozik became a junkie. It was a very personal subject matter for him that he did not take lightly.

All the club members knew or cared about, were that he was an ex-junkie, but he had his shit under control. None of his club members knew his story – not even Tig, or Happy.

It tore him up having to explain, how he watched all of his buddies die right in front of him. The shrill sound of those landmines detonating still haunted him, and would continue to do so until the day he died.

At the age of twenty, in a foreign land, halfway across the globe; Kozik started down the path that led him to where he was today.

He wasn't proud of the man he had become.

He was a murderer, a liar, and in his opinion – a coward.

Why was his life spared, when so many other good men lost theirs?

One night, cuddling in bed with Allison after some mind blowing sex, she asked about how he got the large scar on his leg.

Kozik surprised himself when the story started to roll off his tongue; like he was describing some ordinary, everyday event. Halfway through the story Kozik, couldn't fight it anymore and broke down bawling. He was just that comfortable around Allison – and trusted her that much – to show his emotions.

Instead of freaking out like he thought she would, Allison simply drew him close and let him cry out years of mental turmoil onto her chest.

After that night Kozik, knew for sure in his heart and soul that Allison, was the sole woman on the planet who was meant for him.

If she was put in the position Kozik was put in, when all of the shit went down with Paul and club; Allison would have saved him and stuck by his side.

He regretted choosing the club over Allison every single day.

However, today was going to be the day that he changed all of that. He was going to look her in the eye, and tell her how ashamed he was of himself. He would show her how tortured his soul was and ask her for forgiveness – even though Kozik knew he _did not_ deserve it.

* * *

><p>"Ya' got a minute Gemma?" Chibs' Scottish accent made her look up from her desk.<p>

"Sure honey, what's up?"

"Well uh," Chibs fiddled nervously with his goatee, knowing how upset Gemma was going to be with what he had to say. "You remember the redhead that came lookin fer, Juicy Boy?"

Gemma dropped the pen she was holding at the mention of that _gash_, "Yeah, what about her?"

"Turns out her and Juicy know go far back together. She just moved ta town, and needed a place to stay so, Juice wanted me to give her the keys ta his place," Chibs replied cringing at the scowl which formed on Gemma's face.

"What!?" Gemma shouted as she stood up, "we don't even know who the hell this bitch is! There is no way in hell I am giving her those keys."

"Eh' calm down, Gemma. I went up ta Stockton two days ago and confirmed it with Juice. He insisted that she stays at his house, and that you and the club leave her be. I gave her the keys the other night and as of this morning, she is moved in," Chibs tried to explain in a calm manner.

"I don't give a shit about what Juice says. She's an outsider, so therefore, it's my job to know who Juice is letting in," Gemma refuted.

"I wouldn't do that if I was ya. Juice was dead serious about leaving Allison alone. He said that she has just got out from serving some time. It's really none of our business Gem," Chibs warned.

Gemma's jaw scraped the floor in shock. An ex-con who Juice had never mentioned before in his life, suddenly decides to set up house while Juice is locked up - and Chibs had the nerve to tell her it was none of _her_ business.

She wanted to tell Chibs, that he and Juice could kiss her ass. She quickly thought the better of it though, and decided that there was more than one way to skin a cat.

"Alright, if that's really what Juice wants," Gemma answered in a calculated, friendly tone.

"Good thinking Gem. No need lighting fires when there is nothing there." Chibs smiled totally buying into her act.

He then turned around and left to go back to whatever he was doing before.

As soon as Chibs was out of earshot, Gemma picked up the phone and dialed a number. After four or five rings, the person on the other end picked up.

"Hello?" Wayne Unser groggily answered.

"You sober enough to do a favour for me Wayne?" Gemma got right down to business.

"Yeah sure, I was just napping. What do you need?"

"Does your niece still work in the administration office for the California Corrections Department?"

"Far as I know. Why do you ask? One of the boys in trouble or something?" Wayne groaned the realization that this favour wasn't going to be an easy one.

"No, we are all good. I need you to ask your niece if she can get copies of all the incarceration records for a woman named, Allison Lowarance," Gemma replied.

"Sure, I'll see what I can do," Wayne paused wondering if he even wanted to know what Gemma was looking for. He decided that since he had to go through the painstaking process of contacting his whiney niece, he might as well ask. "Why do you want to know about this woman?"

"No particular reason just yet… but I think there is going to be trouble down the road."

* * *

><p>After Allison had unpacked her all of her belongings, she realized that there wasn't a single crumb of food in Juice's house. By that time it was around one in the afternoon, so it was safe to say she was completely starving.<p>

Charming only had two grocery stores. The closest one to Juice's house was on Main Street, in the heart of Charming.

Allison was loading her heaping cart full of groceries onto the checkout conveyer belt when suddenly, the distinctive noise of metal crashing into metal, rung out from the parking lot. Just like everybody else by the tills, Allison craned her neck to the side to see what happened.

She was totally infuriated when she saw that some asshole driving a large SUV ran off of the road, and slammed right into her truck on the side of the road.

"You've got to be shitting me!" Allison shouted as she grabbed her purse out of the cart, pushed her way through the crowd at the entrance of the store, and out to her truck.

"Get the fuck out my way," Allison growled as elbowed her way through the thickening crowd of gawkers on the sidewalk.

When she pushed her way to the front of the crowd, she saw that the driver of SUV was out of out his vehicle and appeared to be fine except for a few cuts on his face and hands.

"What the hell is a matter with you?!" Allison's roared as she approached the man. She saw several heads snap in her direction, but she didn't care, "don't you know how to fucking drive you dimwitted prick?"

The driver was a male who looked to be in his mid to late fifties. He was wearing a pair of black khaki shorts, and a plain white t-shirt which had a large brown stain in the center of it. Allison judged that the man was mostly likely intoxicated based upon, the glassy look in his eyes and the pungent aroma that emanated from him.

"Hey watch your mouth lady!" Some random female bystander snapped, as she helped the driver sit down on the side of the curb.

Allison shot the lady a death glare and refuted, "Fuck you! It is my business, because that's my fucking truck that's half demolished!"

The lady backed off after that; scared away from further confrontation by Allison's flaming temper.

Allison was about to dial 911, when she heard the sirens of emergency vehicles approaching from down the road. Within seconds a police cruiser screeched to a halt by the scene, followed by a fire truck and an ambulance.

A tall black police officer and his Latino partner were the first officials to get out of their vehicles. The Latino right away went to work at shooing the crowd away. "Alright people, if you actually saw the accident occur, please come and talk to me to give a witness statement. Otherwise, go about your regular business."

While his partner took care of witness statements, Deputy Sheriff Cane, approached Allison, "Ma'am I take it you are the owner of the 2005 Dodge Ram?"

Cane made his assumption based upon the furious expression he saw on Allison's face.

"Yes I am," Allison replied curtly.

"Can you tell me what happened Ma'am?" Cane asked in a professional tone.

"That asshole t-boned my truck while I was inside getting groceries!" Allison gestured with her hand to the driver who was now being strapped onto a gurney, "What the hell do you think happened?"

"Please calm down Ma'am. I can assure you that the San Joaquin Sheriff's department will get to the bottom of this, and make sure that justice is delivered accordingly."

Allison rolled her eyes at Cane's spiel. At this point in her life, she had absolutely no patience for the professional posturing of law enforcement.

"Oh I am sure you will. How about I just give you my damn insurance information and registration so you can go write your little report? And then after that, call me a damn tow truck so I can find out if my truck needs to be written off - since you're such a stoic enforcer of justice, and so forth," Allison responded wryly.

Cane knew that there was no point in pointing out Allison's foul attitude, so went and talked to the SUV driver while the fire department ensured that neither of the vehicles were a fire hazard.

Fifteen minutes later, the firemen determined that everything was safe so, Allison was clear to go into the glovebox of her truck to grab the necessary documents. She gave Deputy Cane the information and filled out a police report. When she was done, she handed the clip board to him and he called a tow truck for her.

Some mom and pop tow truck company that the firemen had called came by, and hauled off the driver's SUV before the company Deputy Cane had called, arrived at the scene.

Allison was didn't catch the name of the company that Cane had called, so it was a surprise when Allison saw a beige truck which had TM Automotive printed on the side, roll up to the scene.

Just fucking great.

The last thing she wanted to do with her day was spend hours around SAMCRO, while they figured out if her truck was kaput or not.

Her heart began to palpate when none other than Chibs, jumped out of the passenger side of truck. The morbidly obese man from the second time she stopped by TM, climbed out of the driver's seat.

Chibs furrowed his brow when he saw Allison standing by the red Dodge. He immediately quickened his casual stroll to a jog, inevitably leaving Phil in dust.

"Lord help me…" Allison muttered under her breath when she saw that the Scotsman had zeroed in on her.

She seriously could not seem too avoid that man.

On one hand, it wasn't really a bad thing, seeing as that he was very open and friendly with her the few times they had interacted – not to mention the fact that he was easy on the eyes. It was highly evident that Chibs found her attractive, based on the way he grabbed her waist at TM and the lustful look in his eyes at the convenience store when he asked her out.

If it was any other town, and Chibs was anything other than a Son; Allison probably would not have a problem with Chibs. But the reality was that she was living in Charming, and Chibs was a member of the MC.

It was something that Allison simply could not deal with. She had just been granted a miraculous second chance at life; it would be highly foolish and ignorant of her to throw it away, by getting involved in the fucked up world of the MC, again.

"Christ, you okay Lassie? Are ya hurt? What happened?" Chibs blurted out question after question, once he had reached Allison.

Allison forced a smile on her face, despite the fact that she was still raging inside, "I am fine. Some asshole ran into my truck while I was getting groceries."

Chibs let out a breath he didn't know he was holding in. He was very relieved to hear that Allison wasn't in the vehicle at the time of the accident. The last thing he'd want to have to do is go up to Stockton and tell Juice, that his friend was laid out in a bed at St. Thomas.

Chibs surprised himself at how angry he felt at the thought of somebody hurting Allison.

He didn't know why, but he found himself feeling more attracted to Allison, than he had about any other woman, in a very long time.

She had damn good figure - that's for sure.

But there something in the way that she carried herself and spoke which drew Chibs to her. Allison was very sure of her place in the world, and was very intelligent about her surroundings. It was a unique type of confidence which gave Chibs, the impression that she had been around the block once or twice.

Chibs also picked up the weary frustration hidden behind her hazel eyes. He knew that it meant she was tired, but more importantly; she was lonely. He knew this because he recognized the same look in his eyes, when he looked in the mirror. This connection only made him want to get to know her more.

"I'm very happy ta' hear that yer not hurt," Chibs said tenderly, "I am however, sad ta say that your truck is not lookin' too good."

Allison sighed, "I was afraid you were going to say that. You think it's a write off?"

Chibs took a moment to scrutinize the damage before he spoke, "It looks touch and go. I won't know fer sure until we get it back to TM."

A dread filled groan escaped Allison's lips. So this was life on the outside…

* * *

><p>Allison never thought she would be so thankful to be pulling into the SAMCRO compound. Sure Filthy Phil was a nice guy, but the truck cab was way too small for the two of them and Chibs.<p>

The drive to TM from Main Street was short, so awkward small talk had not been issue, much to Allison's relief.

Once Phil had parked the truck in front of an empty bay, all three people hastily exited the truck.

Phil went to the back of the truck, and began to help another mechanic unhook the Allison's Dodge from the tow truck.

Meanwhile Chibs, stood off to the side and talked to Allison, "it should take me no more than forty-five minutes until I have a damage estimate worked out fer ya'."

"Alright," Allison nodded. She was happy that Chibs could get to her truck right away.

Chibs put a hand on the small of Allison's back and began to lead her towards the office, "Gemma's got some paperwork fer ya' ta fill out."

The mention of Gemma's name made Allison stop dead in her tracks. She couldn't help but the blurt out, "Did you tell her that I moved into Juice's place, yet?"

At that given moment, she really was not in the state of mind to deal with bitch like Gemma.

"Aye, this morning actually," Chibs answered. He decided that it would be best to leave out the details of Gemma's tantrum.

"Good," Allison let out a relived huff.

With that reassurance, Allison and Chibs continued their stroll to the office.

"We need some MVA forms Gem," Chibs said as he and Allison stepped into the office.

Gemma's mouth dropped slightly when she saw Allison, standing beside Chibs. She raised an eyebrow when she noticed Chibs' hand on Allison's waist.

"Sure honey," Gemma replied while sizing Allison with her eyes.

"Right, I'll go get to work and leave you two gals too it." Chibs replied while cringing as he turned around and left. He sensed the tension in between the two women, and hoped that he wouldn't suddenly hear a shouting match while he was in the garage.

"So you got in an accident then sweetie?" Gemma asked dryly as she began to flip through her filing cabinet for the forms.

"Truck got hit on the side of the road while I was in a store," Allison stated coldly.

"Hm," Gemma grunted as she plucked out a stack of papers, and closed the filing cabinet drawer. She attached them to a clip board and handed it to Allison, along with a pen.

Allison sneered at Gemma, unimpressed by the aggressive way she showed the objects towards her. Allison then went and sat down on the plaid couch, threw her purse to the side, and began to scribble down her information.

Gemma went to her spot behind her desk, and pretended to go back to her paperwork, "Chibs tells me that you are staying in Juice's house while he's inside." Gemma commented in a very passive aggressive tone.

"That's right," Allison replied not bothering to divert her eyes from the paper. She fought the urge to roll her eyes, knowing where this conversation was going to lead.

"He said that apparently you and Juice go way back," Gemma added, wanting to prompt Allison to share more.

"Yes we do."

Gemma sighed in an irritated fashion and threw her pen down, "You an ex of his honey? Because if you're only here to clean him out; we have got ourselves real a problem here."

"I am not," Allison replied in a shrewd tone. She decided to continue on further, knowing that bitches like Gemma, are never satisfied until they think that have _the truth_, "We grew up in Queens together. He dated my little sister for several years."

"Uh huh," Gemma decided to up the ante, "Chibs also mentioned that you just got out of prison."

Allison stopped writing and threw the clipboard to the side. Did this bitch strap Chibs down into a chair and interrogate him, or something?

Gemma prodding about her prison time is where she drew the line.

"Yeah I did," Allison spoke in a very assertive voice, "and before you ask what my sentence was - _don't_. I get that you being the Queen Bee around here, makes you feel entitled to know every little thing, about every member's personal life - but my life and my relationship with Juice, is none of your _damn_ business. I ain't some half brained whore of a croweater, or a damsel in distress looking for protection from the club. I don't have the time or the patience, for your old lady, meddling bullshit. Have Chibs call me on my cell when he is finished." Having said her piece, Allison then grabbed her purse and charged out of the office.

Normally Gemma would have gotten in Allison's face, and punched her lights out for her addressing her in such a vitriolic fashion; but instead she just sat there and watched Allison walk away.

Allison seemed to know what she was talking in regards to the club, a bit too much, for just being some outside broad off of the street. There was more to that gash then Juice let on to Chibs…

Hopefully Unser would pull through and get her Allison's criminal history soon. But until he did, it going to drive Gemma absolutely batty.

* * *

><p>Kozik sat on a stool in front of the bar in the clubhouse, staring off into nothing. He was trying to decide whether or not his anxiety induced stomach ache, could handle the grilled cheese sandwich that was sitting in front of him.<p>

It was only 2pm, but felt as if the day had stretched on for and eon. Nothing seemed to be able to get his mind off of what he had to do, and who he had to face, at the end of his day.

Scenarios of how Allison would react to him kept playing though his head, like a never ending playlist. Would she cry, or scream in his face? Would she actually listen to what he had to say, or slam the door in his face? Would she punch him out, or hug him?

"You gonna eat than son?" Piney's gruff voice from the stool beside him brought Kozik, out of his thoughts.

"Huh? Oh, here you can have it," Kozik mumbled in an absent minded tone as he shoved the plate to the right.

Piney let out a sigh and shoved the plate to the side, "I don't want you damn food. Tequila is all I need for my lunch." Piney decided to switch topics, "what's been going on with you this past week? First you drown yourself in a bottle for two days and neglect club business. Then you walk around here with your brains at half mass all day, snapping at everybody like a bulldog."

Kozik hung his head. Here it was - the inevitable Piney lecture Opie had promised he'd receive.

"It's just some personal stuff," Kozik answered reluctantly.

"I may be old, but I'm not stupid," Piney asserted. "What's the name of piece of pussy that's got you so twisted up inside?"

Kozik curled his lip upward in disgusted at the notion of Allison, just being a piece of pussy. He knew from Piney tone though, that the older man was trying to be sincere.

"Allison."

"Uh huh. You hurt her bad, but you still love her," Piney stated.

Piney's all too correct analysis made Kozik, look up at him in shock. How the hell did he know that? Opie better not have told his Pop about what they talked about at his house. He confided in Opie, understanding that Opie would keep the knowledge of Allison, to himself.

Piney let out a deep old man chuckle at the deer in headlights expression plastered across the blonde's face.

"Relax kid. I've been there and done that." Piney referred to his severed marriage with Mary.

The older Piney got, the more he found himself reflecting on the mistakes he had made with Mary. The club, his alcohol problem, his cheating and his inability to express his love outwardly; had all caused his marriage to tank. The knowledge that his poor character and lifestyle choices had drove away the love of his life was the biggest regret he carried around with him.

"I didn't think I'd ever see her again… then I found out that she's in town…" Kozik shared tentatively.

"You need to find her and just tell her how you feel. It's the only way to get past this funk you're in," Piney replied. He thought back to about how good it felt when he told Mary how he really felt, before he tried to shoot Clay several months ago. "Even if it is too late, you can find peace in knowing that you told her how you really feel. At the end of the kid, the only thing that matters in this world is your loved ones. The club, your job, you motorcycle; all of that is minuscule compared to the importance of the love of a woman. Before you know it, you'll be fat, old, and half dead like me."

Kozik felt like somebody sucker punched him in the gut when he realized that his fears were confirmed. He committed the worst sin a mortal man could, by betraying the one woman who would have stuck by him no matter what…

However, Kozik feel a bit more confident about confronting Allison. Sure, Piney was a mean old drunk; but Kozik had caught on a long time ago that he was very wise, despite his faults.

"Thanks old man," Kozik managed to muster up a weak smile, "I better get back to work."

Kozik then grabbed his beer and walked away from the bar to the direction of the door.

When he was sure Kozik was out of earshot, Piney shook his and chuckled, "Oh the joys of love."

* * *

><p>Allison was seeing red as she made her way toward the gate. She knew that she might have said a bit too much back there, but she did not care at the moment. All she could think about was finding a bar nearby where she could indulge in a basket of spicy chicken wings, while she downed a very stiff Jack and Coke.<p>

When Allison walked past the clubhouse, she was busy digging in her purse looking for her cellphone. She really needed to call Rachel and vent to her about her shit ass day.

All of a sudden she felt her body collide with a much larger one, as a cold liquid splashed onto her abdomen.

Allison untangled herself from the body, as she began to yell, "Hey watch where the hell-" When she looked up to see who the moron was who ran into her - she froze.

Time seemed to stand still, when Kozik's and Allison's eyes locked.

Allison thought that she had to be dreaming. Or maybe she hit her head and as hallucinating…

It wasn't really him.

She tried to deny the vision before her; but then it hit her. Her intuition last night and that morning wasn't about her truck getting hit… it was about her running into Herman Kozik.

Allison's heart began to beat wildly, as every muscle in her body began to tremble from a mixture of sheer shock and sorrow. She tried to open her mouth to speak, but no words came out.

As Kozik's eyes were locked together with Allison's; he felt all the same emotions that she was. But the look of defeat and vulnerability in Allison's hazel eyes, made him feel like the most worthless piece of shit on the planet.

Allison was the strongest, most level headed, intelligent individual he had ever meant. Her resilience in not allowing the bad circumstances in her life, dictate her path; was one of the qualities he had admired about her the most.

Yet here she was, standing before him trembling like newborn puppy. The assumption that his actions had broken such a strong woman was terrifying – but seeing it firsthand was absolutely crippling.

Acting on instinct Kozik, reached out and placed a hand on her right shoulder, "Allie, this is not how planned for this to happen."

Kozik's touch combined with the sound of his voice, brought Allison out of her shock. Without giving it a second thought, she grabbed the beer bottle that he held in his right hand and smashed it across his face.

The sound of the glass shattering, and Kozik's body hitting the concrete covered earth was the most deafening noise Allison had ever heard.

"You stay away from me you son of bitch!" Allison shrieked at Kozik who was sprawled on the ground. Before she sprinted away from the scene and out of the compound, she briefly glanced down at Kozik. What she saw the last thing she had ever expected too see in his crystal blue eyes... deep seated remorse.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So here is chapter 5. Things are really starting to get rolling now. **

**Thanks to the people who favorited/ followed since my last update.**

**I am just wondering what you readers think so far, in regards to capturing the flow of the SOA world and my characterization, thus far? I think I am doing okay, but some feedback would really be appropriated, and duly noted!**

**Thank you for taking the time out to read this chapter, and I am looking forward to some possible reviews if you guys feel like it! :))) **

**Until next week, Cheers! **


	6. Medicinal Whiskey?

Kozik felt the harsh sting of glass shards at the right hand corner of his forehead, which stemmed downward in a crescent shaped pattern to the bottom of his jaw. He also picked up a few loose shards in his lower right arm when he fell down. A couple of stray, crimson drops of blood began to trickle down his forehead as he watched Allison run out of the compound, and turn left on the sidewalk.

His brain was screaming at him to pick his ass up off of the pavement and chase after her. So, Kozik propped both of his elbows behind him, and he tried to force his disorientated body to stand up.

His body however, had a very different idea because he fell back down onto his ass - which consequentially was right on top of the pile glass.

"_Holy_ _motherfucking Christ!"_ Kozik screeched like an alley cat from the shock of the intense pain which radiated from his ass cheeks. He immediately rolled off of the glass and onto his left side.

He closed his eyes for a moment to try and focus on steadying his laboured breathing. This stinging pain he felt in the various spots of his body, combined with shock and shame he felt about how Allison had reacted to him - made him feel sick to his stomach.

There wasn't anything in the world he wanted more at that moment, than to shoot his veins full of heroin. It would take away all of the unadulterated pain and shame that was wreaking havoc on his body and mind.

The heroin would free him from the concrete blocks attached to his feet, allowing him fly up into the stratosphere and escape into an awesome euphoria. The only substantial feeling of consequence would be the warm, tingling sensation pulsating throughout his nervous system.

Kozik stopped his train of thought when remembered that heroin can only cause more pain – not solve it.

He groaned as he felt the acidic content of his stomach quickly work its way up his esophagus. Ignoring the pain, he repositioned himself onto all fours knowing that if he remained on his side; he could choke on his own vomit. That was definitely not the way he wanted to be remembered.

Herman Kozik – ex-Marine, member of the Sons of Anarchy, passed away from choking on vomit after he got clocked in the head with a beer bottle by a woman… Not exactly a flattering eulogy.

His body lurched violently as he regurgitated what little food and liquid that held in his stomach. After the last heave, there was no more fight left in his body, and he collapsed face down into his own puke.

Kozik suddenly felt two strong arms wrap underneath his shoulders, and flip him onto his left side so that he was in the recovery position.

A gruff voice which belonged to none other than Piney, spoke up, "I take it that's Allison."

Kozik let out a strangulated sigh. This was without a doubt the longest day of his life...

"What the hell happened? What was all of that screaming about?" Gemma shouted as she ran out of her office towards the spot where Piney was standing.

When she reached the scene, her eyes widened at the sight of the injured blonde. Scrunching her nose in revulsion at the metallic smell of Kozik's puke, she demanded, "That mouthy gash is responsible for this, isn't she?"

"Fuck, just help me up Gemma," Kozik moaned, unsure as to whether the painful throbbing was worse in his ass, arm, or his head.

Gemma growled in frustration at Kozik dodging her question. None the less, she took her cue alongside Piney and helped the blonde to stand up.

The only reason Kozik managed to stay somewhat balanced on his feet was because Gemma and Piney, were supporting him underneath either of his shoulders.

"We need to get him to the emergency room," Gemma stated, ignoring the fact that a small crowd of gawkers were gathering around them.

"Eh' what the hell is happened?" Chibs' voice boomed out as he jogged up to the scene. Seeing that the Gemma was struggling to hold up the 190 pound blonde up, he quickly took over for Gemma.

"That crazy redheaded bitch smashed a beer bottle across Kozik's skull! What the fuck else do you think happened?" Gemma snapped back as she switched off with Chibs.

"Allison did that?" Chibs gaped, not entirely believing that Allison was capable of such violence.

Gemma crossed her arms and gasped in furious astonishment, "Are you fucking deaf? That's what I just fucking said!"

"Argue about this later. We've got to get him to emergency now, in case he has a concussion or some glass fragments in his eyes." Piney exclaimed in a highly annoyed tone.

"No," Kozik cut frantically, "I don't need to go to the hospital. They'll just ask what happened and I don't want Allie getting into any trouble."

Gemma's jaw dropped at the notion. That bitch was responsible for the glass sticking out of his body in multiple areas, like some perverse version of bird feathers; and he didn't want to get her in trouble.

Gemma wanted to refute Kozik's wishes, however - she along with Piney and Chibs knew that by the conviction in Kozik's tone he was dead serious.

"Shit, I'll call Tara to get her ass over here," Gemma huffed before she walked briskly away toward her office.

"Come on, Kozy. We're gonna get ya' patched up as good as new," Chibs said as he and Piney began to lead Kozik into the clubhouse.

Chibs fought back the urge to spew out all of the questions that were on the tip his tongue.

How did Kozik know Allison? Why the hell did she crack a bottle across his skull? Did he try to physically hurt her, and that was just her way of protecting herself?

Chibs really hoped that the last scenario wasn't the case, if so – he would crack more than just a beer bottle across his blonde's head…

Judging by how adamant Kozik about not getting Allison in trouble, Chibs knew he wasn't going to get any of these answers from him, anytime soon.

Chibs would have to go to the source of the problem – Allison.

* * *

><p>Allison ran for about five blocks, until she could no longer see the SAMCRO compound behind her when she glanced over her shoulder.<p>

When she stopped running, Allison took a few moments to catch her breath. She leaned her back against some a random brick building and closed her eyes.

Her heart was beating rapidly, as sweat oozed out of her forehead and underarms. It took Allison a few moments to comprehend that her cheeks were not damp from perspiration, but from tears.

As she tried to compose herself, Allison felt unrest in her stomach. It wasn't from physical overexertion, but from a powerful feeling of shame.

For the last seven years she had cursed the existence of Herman Kozik.

After she went inside, Allison was reminded of some sort of ugly, deleterious, monster every time Kozik popped into her mind. The thought of Kozik's promises about how he would protect her from Paul and his family when it came time to do so, made her feel completely worthless.

Like really, how could she be so gullible to fall his lies?

If he had really loved her, he wouldn't have skipped giving his testimony about how Paul manipulated her through threatening Briella. Kozik's knowledge about what really happened the night of Allison's car accident would have ensured that the first degree murder charge would have been dropped.

Despite Allison's black feelings about Kozik - she felt a revitalizing pang in her heart when she looked into Kozik's eyes back at TM. For a brief moment, it was as if they none of the horrible shit had gone down, and they were still head over heels in love.

Allison's eyelids quickly flung open. Was she high on crack or something?

There was no chance in hell she would ever allow herself to fall Herman Kozik, ever again.

When she began to feel a bit better, Allison stood up straight and readjusted the purse strap on her shoulder. She walked a few steps towards the curb of the sidewalk, and looked up to see what kind of business it was she had been leaning against.

An amused huff escaped her lips when she saw that plain green and black lettered tin sign read,

"_Sam's Liquor Store"_

"What a noble idea," Allison remarked dryly to herself.

* * *

><p>Allison sat on the couch in Juice's living room, staring at the T.V. screen, not paying any attention to whatever game show as on the screen.<p>

In one hand she held strong Jack and coke. In the other, she held her cellphone.

As much as she wanted to call up Rachel to tell her about her day from hell; Allison just couldn't find it in her to dial her number.

She knew that Rachel would flip her lid when she heard that Kozik was no longer SAMTAC, and was now patched as a member of SAMCRO.

Growing up, Rachel had witnessed her biological Father as well as her two step-Fathers; abuse her Mother in every way imaginable. Instead of turning to substance abuse like most children in those situations do, Rachel used her anger and fear to motivate her to become a criminal defense lawyer.

She specialized in representing women who've been indicted due to domestic violence. So naturally when Allison's case was plopped onto her desk, she snatched it up in a heartbeat.

For her entire journey, Rachel was there to support Allison in any way possible. She witnessed just how much Kozik's betrayal had hurt Allison. It was probably the hardest moment of her career when she sat across from Allison, and told her that Kozik did not show up to give his testimony. Allison immediately broke out in heart wrenching sobs, making it all the more harder to explain that the D.A. would push for first degree murder and child endangerment charges.

Allison lost completely after that. She began to band her fists into the stainless steel picnic table, and shriek about how much she wanted to kill Kozik with her bare hands.

Rachel sat there in complete horror as she watched the guards rush up to Allison in full riot gear – and strap her into a chair that half way resembled a straitjacket. It was at that point she vowed in her power as Allison's attorney to ensure that Allison would receive justice.

The week before Kozik was to testify in court, Rachel had driven up to Tacoma to inform him that his testimony was the only real chance that Allison had at gaining her freedom. Otherwise, Allison was looking at life without parole - or even the death penalty.

He had sworn up and down, that he would be show up and share his knowledge. When he did not show up Rachel felt like driving up to Tacoma and putting a bullet through the blonde's head.

Rachel despised Kozik so much after that day; she could not even begin to fathom how much Allison loathed him.

Allison eventually decided against calling Rachel, and walked into the kitchen and set it down on the table.

Up until this day, Allison figured she would be okay living in Charming. Sure she had anxieties but she would deal with them, just like she had done her entire life.

However, knowing that she would be living in the same town - let alone the same state as Kozik - had completely crippled confidence she had about starting her new life.

The look in Kozik's eyes right before she ran away, was shocked her down to the core. It made her question in the back of her mind that if Kozik not testifying was actually as malicious in intent as she had brought herself to believe.

When you really sit down and analyze the issue, it wasn't just Allison's and Kozik's future at stakes. There was also the fate of the MC, and the Italian Mafia in California and in Chicago to consider.

Before her thoughts on the new notion could go any further, a sharp series of knocks rang out from the front door. Not wanting to dealing with whomever it was, Allison simply decided to ignore them.

After three more knocks, the person outside spoke up, "open up this door right now!"

Allison cringed at the sound of Gemma's voice. She closed her eyes and hung her head for a moment before setting her drink down onto the coffee table, and slowly walked towards the door.

After she had unlocked the door and aggressively flung it open, she asserted "what happened between Kozik and I, is none of your concern - just like the rest of my life. You are not going to get any answer out of me, and I highly doubt Manny will tell you anything either. Now get the fuck off of this property."

Gemma could not believe the attitude of this ungrateful bitch. First she shows up out of the blue, claiming to be some long lost companion of Juice. Then she has Chibs looking at her like she is the best thing to happen since sliced bread. Finally she nearly kills another club member for no apparent reason.

Gemma really needed to put Allison in her place. She wanted to spew insult after insult out at Allison like machine gun fire, but found herself tongue-tied. She was too distracted by the ungodly appearance of the lower half of Allison's body.

Without realizing it, Allison had opened the door wearing only a black ribbed tank top, and a pair of purple denim shorts.

Starting about two inches above her ankles, Allison's skin was riddled in scars. The scars varied in size, shape and length. In coordinating patches, there were also sections of skin that were discoloured and shrivelled from being burnt. Just above the knee, on the backside Allison's left leg; there was a substantial chunk of tissue missing where her vastus medialis muscle should be.

"Holy Fuck! You are one gimped up bitch," Gemma blurted out. The filter in her brain was not working, as per usual.

Allison felt like her stomach dropped down into her feet. Her eyes grew wide, and her cheeks grew a sizzling shade of crimson. Acting on instinct, Allison swiftly slammed the door shut in Gemma's face.

She stood paralyzed in mortification behind the closed door. She stayed still until she heard Gemma footsteps leave the porch and heard her SUV pull out of the driveway.

After a few seconds of silence, Allison let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding in. Out of nowhere, she went from feeling nothing but emotional and alcohol induced numbness, to a full on panic attack.

She turned around so that her back was resting against the door. Her legs began to tremble and without warning, gave out beneath her.

For the second time that day, tears flowed uncontrollably from her eyes. Allison could only imagine how Gemma, was going to run her mouth off about Allison's appearance. At that given moment, Allison was sure that Gemma was in Kozik's face, asking why the hell "_the psycho gash was so gimped up_".

It infuriated Allison to know that Gemma was most likely going to use her biggest insecurity to get "_the truth". _

If Kozik did give Gemma the satisfaction of an answer, hopefully he would just stick to their story that Allison got hurt in a car crash. He knew just as well as Allison did, that the real truth would set off a chain of events and reopen a very ugly can of worms.

* * *

><p>"Hey Lieutenant?" Deputy Cane said as he knocked on the doorframe to Sheriff Roosevelt's office, "I think I got something you might want to see. It's about that MVA on Main Street this afternoon."<p>

Roosevelt looked up from his paperwork, "what's up?"

"Well the owner of the Dodge that got t-boned, Allison Lowrance, put on her accident repot that her address is 2219 Vermilion Avenue. Now I recognized that address from somewhere, so I looked it up. The house belongs to a local Sons of Anarchy member, Juan Carlos Ortiz," Cane replied stepped into the office.

"Ortiz is Stockton. Probably just one of his squeezes looking after his pad until his time is up," Roosevelt responded a bit irked. He didn't see why Cane was bothering to tell him this information.

"Yeah that's what I thought too, but then Ms. Lowrance's face looked really familiar to me. As you know before I came here, I was working for the Susanville Police Department, up in Lassen County. My third day on the job after graduating the academy my training officer and I, responded to our first homicide. A physical domestic dispute got out of hand and the wife ended up killing the husband by smashing in his face with a small frying pan. The dude's face was so caved in – matching his fingerprints with what we had in the system was the only way the coroner's office could identify him. Anyways, when Martinez and I were driving back to the station after responding to the MVA, it hit me – Ms. Lowrance was the wife. I just looked her up in the data base and found that I was right. All of her charges got appealed eight days ago, and now the only charge on her record of consequence will be one count of imperfect self defense. I called up the CDC, and by nine o'clock tomorrow morning her record will be up to date. She was released from Chowchilla seven days ago."

"Okay so what's the problem? Why should this woman be on our radar? What does her living at Ortiz place have to do with anything?" Roosevelt asked. "You know that profiling for past offenses won't get us brownie points with the D.A."

"I remember most of the details from that case… it was pretty brutal. Ms. Lowrance had a daughter with her late ex-husband, Paul Maganoli. At the time of the attack, Paul and Allison were newly separated. According to the several testimonies Ms. Lowrance gave throughout the years; the physical violence began because Paul broke into her home and began to beat on his daughter – the situation escalated rapidly from there. Paul Maganoli was a member of the Tacoma charter of the Sons of Anarchy."

"Uh huh," Roosevelt sighed, finally understanding why Cane was bending his ear.

Gangs by nature are highly misogynistic. Old ladies are usually safe as long as they do not overstep the boundaries set out by their partner. The members usually don't give a rat's ass about the other member's old ladies, unless the old ladies cause some sort of trouble that interferes with the gang business.

Allison murdering her husband was on the taboo end of the old lady spectrum of the, _"not to do"_ list. Roosevelt knew that Allison was lucky that she wasn't murdered for retaliation by the MC.

"Did get back to you with the MVA Perp's toxicology report, yet?"

"Yes sir," Cane answered as he handed Roosevelt a small bundle of papers, "the Perp, Mr. Frank Edwardson, was way over the legal blood alcohol limit at the time of the accident."

"Alright, I'll think I'll go personally update Ms. Lowrance about the situation."

"Yes sir," Cane replied smiling. He knew that Roosevelt had finally caught on to why he just lectured him about a homicide that happened several years ago.

If Allison would willingly affiliate herself with a patched member of the MC again - there was a good chance she hadn't learned her lesson the first time around.

Roosevelt knew from his experience with gangs that Old ladies _usually, _do not pose a threat. However, if they were felons, it was a good idea to keep an eye on them. In Allison's case; his watchful eye would be for her own safety…

* * *

><p>Allison was slumped up against the front door with her knees curled up to her chest, sobbing profusely. When Sheriff Roosevelt knocked on the door, Allison was very reluctant to answer it. She was still very shaken up by her encounter with Gemma.<p>

"Fuck off whoever you are!" Allison managed to holler out.

On the opposite side of the door, Roosevelt could hear Allison crying. Alarmed by the shaky tone of her voice he spoke up, "Ma'am its Sheriff Roosevelt, with the San Joaquin Sheriff Department – are you alright in there? I have an update for you about the MVA."

Allison suddenly felt even more embarrassed. She had assumed that it was some member of SAMCRO on the porch, ready to yell at her for nearly killing one of their brothers and for disrespecting their Queen. er FrFr

She really wouldn't have cared if she had told some Uni to fuck off, but a telling a Sheriff to fuck off was a whole other scenario. Allison hated law enforcement for obvious reasons, but higher ups like Roosevelt required a bit more tact. Otherwise, a person might find themselves thrown into a County cell overnight, if they aren't careful.

"Uh just a second," Allison replied as she stood up. She quickly ran into the spare bedroom and ripped apart her shopping bags until she found the fuzzy floor length, bright purple bathrobe she had purchased at Bed, Bath and Beyond.

When she opened the door, she hated to see the scrutinizing looked on Roosevelt's face. Allison had spent enough time dancing around the law to know that a Lieutenant wouldn't make a house call for a menial MVA; unless there was another motive behind it

"What do you want Sheriff?" Allison inquired in a very unwelcoming tone.

"I am just here to inform you that Mr. Edwardson, the man who was driving the SUV which hit your car today; was severely over the legal blood alcohol limit at the time of the accident. He is being held for observation over night at the hospital, so I am here to give you his insurance information in his stead," Roosevelt addressed while silently wondered whether or not, the time was right to prod about her relationship with Juice.

Allison snatched the papers out of Roosevelt's hand and in a hasty fashion replied, "Yeah thanks. I am still having my car assessed, so I don't know if it's a write off yet or not."

"Alright, well you have a good night Ms. Lowrance. I you need anything don't hesitate to call the department," Roosevelt responded with a nod, before he turned around, walked down the porch steps, and got back into his cruiser.

From Allison's taut expression and her calculated speech; Roosevelt concluded that it defiantly was not a good time to bring up the topic of the MC.

Besides, all he could really do was hope that no trouble erupted between SAMCRO and Allison.

* * *

><p>Tara was highly irritated when Gemma called her at the hospital, yelling at her to come with her kit to the clubhouse ASAP, and hung up without any further explanation.<p>

When she arrived at the clubhouse, Gemma quickly ushered her into Chapel. Gemma immediately left Tara alone with Chibs, muttering something about, "setting a dumb bitch straight".

She wasn't really surprised to see that it was Kozik, who was lying on his stomach waiting for her help. Since Kozik had arrived in Charming several months ago, Tara had noticed that the blonde biker had a tendency to get roughed up.

She didn't dare ask Chibs or Kozik, about what had happened. It was safe to say that neither of the men was themselves.

Chibs had a baffled, puppy-dog expression plastered across his face. On top of that, he was really distracted and needed a lot of guidance - which was completely unlike the Scotsman. Usually, he fully invested himself into aiding Tara anytime she was treating somebody.

The second Tara announced that she was finished, Chibs bolted out of the chapel like there was a vicious dog chasing him or something.

Kozik had a thousand yard stare in his eyes the entire time Tara treated him. He barely spoke a word to Tara. The only time he did, was when he was pulling up his pants and mumbled, "Thanks Doc."

Tara figured that Kozik was just really embarrassed by the whole ordeal, so she skipped her usual spiel about how he really should have gone to the emergency room. However, she did lecture him on signs of infection he should watch out for, and how often to change his dressing. She was pretty sure that he didn't hear a word she said, but quickly scribbled out a prescription for some antibiotics none the less.

Kozik grabbed the prescription and proceeded to limp out of the Chapel. He passed through the main lounging area and down the hallway until he reached his dorm room, feeling several eyes on him.

He knew that they all wanted an explanation, but he could not have cared less. Just like back in Tacoma – his and Allison's relationship was nobody's business but their own.

* * *

><p>"Hey I'm all done with Kozik," Tara announced her presence as she stepped into Gemma's office. "Do you want to tell me what that was all about? He was pretty withdrawn into himself, and Chibs seemed pretty freaked out."<p>

Tara knew Gemma well enough that the frown on her face meant that shit was going down, and Gemma could do nothing to control it.

"Gimpy must have her claws dugs further into Chibs than I thought," Gemma murmured to herself.

"Who?" Tara proclaimed with raised eyebrows.

Gemma was still very astonished by the deformity of Allison's legs. She wasn't going to forget about it anytime soon – so, Gimpy seemed like an appropriate nickname for Allison.

Gemma sighed realizing that Tara knew nothing about the whole Allison scenario, "This gash named Allison is apparently an old friend of Juice's. Anyways, she just got out of the big house and convinced Chibs to give her the keys to Juice's place. She's going to be living there until Juice gets out. Meanwhile, she apparently likes to lead on lonely Scotsmen, and abuse middle aged surfer dudes with Coors Light bottles."

"Uh huh," Tara really didn't know what to say about the mystery woman, "well Kozik is going to be okay. He was really fortunate that he didn't get any glass in his eyes."

"That's good," Gemma stated before changing subjects, "I went to Juice's place after you got here. I was going to talk some sense into Gimpy, but she just slammed the door in my face. This bitch seriously needs a reality check."

Gemma purposely left of the detail of Allison's legs. When the time was right, Gemma bring it as a curveball the next time her and Allison got into it.

"Well let me know if I can help out. This chick must really have a screw loose to attack somebody the way she did to Kozik," Tara said while shaking her head.

"Thank I think I'm going to need all the help I can get with this one," Gemma replied.

Life as an Old Lady rarely involved a dull moment, that's for sure.

* * *

><p>The false sense of peace which Allison had gotten from her fifth of Jack Daniels was completely shattered after Roosevelt's visit.<p>

They must have run her name through the system, and seen her un-modified record. It was the only real explanation as to why the Sheriff bothered to make a house call which happened to be _way_ below his pay grade.

Rachel had said it could take the CDC up to two weeks, to wipe everything clean.

Allison walked away from the front door and into the kitchen. She stared her cellphone sitting in the center of kitchen table, like it was some ominous centerpiece.

The small screen on the front of her plain silver flip phone had a two missed calls, one voicemail, and four text messages.

Allison wanted to see who the hell was blowing up her phone but after a moment of thought; she ultimately decided against it. It was probably Chibs about her truck, or that crazy bitch Gemma, wanting to get her to account for previous actions.

She had no idea of what she was going to do about the entire situation – it felt like she had been pulled into a biker style version of the _Twilight Zone._

She knew that the responsible thing would be to sit down, and try to figure how to find the answers to all of the questions running through her mind. Also she should formulate a plan about how she was going to deal with the Kozik issue - but Allison was tired of thinking.

Since Allison had given birth to Briella; it seemed as if her life revolved around scheming and executing plans to achieve some sort of happy ending. The happy ending never worked out, and she was simply sick and tired of it.

"Fuck it," Allison said to herself as picked up the bottle of whiskey on the table.

She walked over towards the fridge and pulled out bottle of coke. She was rummaging through the cupboards looking for a really large tumbler, when she heard the sound of a motorcycle pulling into the driveway.

"Motherless, fucking cunts!" Allison roared before she turned around, and picked up the whiskey off of the table.

She took three large swigs from the bottle and she walked towards the door.

Did this house have a ginormous sign outside that read _Please Disturb,_ or something? Just because she was staying at a club member's house, doesn't mean that the other members and associates could just stop by anytime they felt like it.

The next time she went up to Stockton, she was going to have one hell of a strong word with Juice about his nosy comrades.

Allison growled from the burn of the whiskey, before she placed her hand on the gold doorknob and flung open the door.

She was prepared to launch a sailor style bombardment of curses at whoever dared to bother her, but stopped when she saw who it was.

Chibs stood in front of her, looking a little bit like a lost dog. His shoulders weren't pushed up and out, in the masculine, confident, way they were the other times Allison had seen him. Instead, his posture was slightly stooped, which hinted towards a lack of confidence.

His small framed sunglasses which sat at the tip of his nose highlighted his dark brown eyes. His eyes reflected an expression of worry.

Allison could help but to drool a bit, as she let her eyes wander up and down Chibs' body. His dark wash jeans nicely accentuated his well sculpted behind. She also appreciated the worn looking, brown leather jacket which he wore underneath his kutte – she was a sucker for a man in leather.

"I uh –" Chibs spoke up, but got interrupted when Allison snapped out of her little lustful fog.

"What the hell do you want? Because if you are here to lecture me on how I redecorated that blonde's0 piece of shit face today – don't. If you think what I did to him was bad, you have no idea what I can do with this!" Allison exclaimed, referring to the bottle in her hand.

Chibs found himself in a conundrum. On one hand he found himself totally turned on by Allison's aggressiveness, but on the other hand he was actually terrified of what she might do.

"I just wanted to make sure that ya' were okay," Chibs replied rather calmly, despite his palpitating heart.

Allison noticed the bottle of Jameson whiskey in his right hand, and the bag brown bag of what she assumed was some greasy fast food in the other hand.

"What's that all about?" Allison asked curtly, referring to the items.

Chibs's eyebrows went up in shock at her comment. Maybe she wasn't going to bash his nuts after all…?

"I just thought that ya' would want some food, seeing as that yer' shopping got disrupted this afternoon," Chibs answered in a tentative tone.

Allison took a sharp breath in through her nose, and twitched her mouth side to side.

Her intuition told her that Chibs' intentions were genuine. If he really wanted to bitch at her about respecting club members and so forth; he would have done so the moment she had opened the door.

She sensed that he wasn't the sheepish type when it came to defending the honour of the club.

Based upon all of their interactions over the past few days, she could tell that Chibs really wanted to get to know her better. Although at that given moment, Allison really couldn't find it in herself to give two flying fucks - she was simply done with the day.

Moreover, she was done dealing with men. The drunk driver, the police, Kozik, and Chibs' attention were just too much. After spending so many years secluded from reality behind bars, she had slightly forgotten about the selfishness of the opposite sex.

If there was one lesson Allison had taken from the day; it was that whatever God lived up the stratosphere was warning her to stay away from bikers.

"I'll take that and that," Allison replied as she snatched the bag of fast food and bottle of liquor out of Chibs' hands, "but you can get the hell of this porch. I have had a really rotten day, and the last thing I want to do is spend time with a fucking Son of Anarchy. Thanks for the concern, but you and your gash of a Queen can go fuck yourselves."

Having spoken her mind, Allison slammed the door in the baffled Scotsman's face without a second thought.

Chibs stood still for a moment, trying to process what had just happened. Compared to all of his other interactions with Allison, this one was definitely unexpected. The bottle of Jack Daniels in her hand probably had something to do with her straightforwardness, though.

Maybe Juice was right when he warned him to stay away from her?

There was one thing Chibs did know - he was going to have one-hundred and one questions for Kozik tomorrow. The same thing would also be true the next time he visited Juice.

But until then, Allison certainly wouldn't be leaving his thoughts.

* * *

><p>As Kozik lay on his bed, he listened to the usual nighttime sounds of people scurrying about the clubhouse. He hoped nobody would pop in and try to see if he was "okay", because the truth was that he was far from it.<p>

He wasn't surprised in the least that Allison wasn't happy to see him. He didn't really blame her for decking him either. He actually would have been kind of worried if Allison hadn't.

What Kozik was surprised about though – was the fact that she physically trembling in fear, at the sight of him. The awestruck look he saw in her eyes was the very same look she used to get, when she would confide in him about how much Paul's temper scared her.

How the hell did he get himself to this point?

Allison, the person whose opinion Kozik valued the most - now regarded his character as being no better than Paul's.

Paul Maganoli had to have been one of the lowest, most vile pieces of shit to ever walk the face of the planet. Kozik had no idea how he never shot the bastard's head off for so many years, knowing how he treated his family.

To sum up Kozik's opinion of the Paul – he wished Allison wouldn't have stopped with smashing in Paul's face. She should have first chopped off his dick while he was still alive and stuck it in his mouth, between his fat Italian lips. Then she should have drenched him in gasoline and flicked a packet of lit matches on him.

No wait - _Kozik_ should have been the one to kill Paul.

What kind of a man places his wife, not to mention an innocent child, between two criminal organizations to use as some sort of perverse, peace broker?

Allison had no choice but to try and run away from Paul.

If she had spoken up and told the MC about what Paul's real intentions within MC – Paul's family in Chicago would have pinned her as a rat greenlit her. The MC also would have probably also greenlit Allison themselves. After all, her not speaking up about how the Italian Mafia was ripping them off lost them thousands of dollars.

To survive Allison needed to grab her daughter and go far, far away. But Allison also needed someone to protect her and love her; which is obviously where Kozik came in.

Briella also needed to have a male figure in her life. No wait scratch that – Kozik was her Dad in every which way, except biologically. In his off time, he took her to the park, bought her ice cream and generally treated her like royalty.

Her little smile, laugh, and overall innocence brought an indescribable joy to Kozik's life. He had never thought of himself as a family type man before - but it wasn't long until he was yearning to start his _own_ family with Allison.

If he would have told the club to go fuck themselves, and went away to California when Allison and Briella did - none of the shit probably would have gone down.

Kozik's train of thought was disrupted when he saw the steel doorknob begin to twist. The person on the other side of the door tried to jiggle the door when they realized that the door was locked.

He was so depressed and physically tired that he could not even manage the strength to tell the person to go fuck off.

"You can stop hiding now. Literally everybody has left the compound," Piney called out in a matter of fact tone.

Kozik growled in pain as he pulled his sore body, up off of his bed.

"For real? Cause' I'm in no mood for any bullshit, old man," Kozik answered as he limped towards bedroom door.

"For Christ sake yes!" Piney replied, getting irritated having to address Kozik through a thick piece of steel and wood, "I got a big fat bottle of Jim Beam's finest sitting on freshly opened the bar. I know how much you like your whiskey son."

Kozik let out a sigh. He had sworn off booze for a while after his escapade last week, but a few stiff belts would help to dull the burning throb he felt in his face, arm, and ass cheeks.

When Kozik unlocked the door, it brought a smile to his face to see that in his right hand, Piney held his sterling silver flask. Piney's left arm was wrapped around a ratty looking, cardboard banker's file box, which probably dated back to the 1960's. What was inside the box however, was priceless trove of treasure.

"Let's go," Kozik said as his bit his bottom lip the way he always does.

As he limped down the hallway towards the main area of the clubhouse, Piney made an effort to match his slow pace. As they staggered along Piney talked, "That shit outside was rough today. There's nothing worse than having a bunch of groveling shitheads hovering around you, while you're at rock bottom."

"Ain't that the truth," Kozik replied with a sheepish laugh. He was surprised and embarrassed to feel his cheeks getting warm.

Piney could see the rosy color on the blonde's cheeks through the corner of his eyes. He could help but to laugh, "Don't be so damn bashful. Being taken down by a woman isn't the end of the world."

Kozik looked at Piney, shocked that the old man read his mind for the second time that day.

Piney snorted and took a swig of tequila before he explained with a devil grin, "there was this time – back in 79' I think – Mary and I were still married. Anyways, she had stopped by the garage to pick up Opie, who I was supposed to be watching for the day. He was inside the clubhouse watching T.V, while I had my face buried in some sweet, blonde bush, which was sitting on top of the 67' Cadillac I was supposed to be fixing up."

"What'd Mary do? I'm sure she was pissed."

"Took the lug wrench laying on top of my tool box and whacked aside the head so hard – I fell unconscious right on top of the bimbo's snatch," Piney laughed.

Kozik laughed right alongside Piney. Sometimes he wished that he could have met Piney when he was in his heyday. He was sure that Piney would have put even Bobby or Tig's partying to shame.

By that point, the duo's slow pace had finally brought them out into the main area of the clubhouse.

Kozik grabbed the promised bottle of whiskey off of the bar, and then lay down on the large leather couch by the pool table.

Piney however, diverted his path and went behind the bar.

He tucked his flask into his kutte's breast pocket, set down the box on the counter, crouched down on his knees, and opened the cabinet which contained the stereo equipment for the entire clubhouse. He let out a grunt of disgust as he shut off the electronic stereo which was playing some sort of modern day, heavy metal crap.

Piney had nothing against rock and roll music. In fact some of his favorite music came out of the 60's and 70's rock era.

Most of the shit that gets produced today though, wasn't even worthy of being put on a radio; let alone released on a CD. He didn't know if it was because he was old, but the quality of musicianship in his day was leaps and bounds above the current music being produced.

Tonight wasn't the right time to listen to songs about drugs or broads, however. What Kozik needed was some old fashioned, honkytonk style, heartbreak songs.

Piney was one of the few people who knew about the blonde's secret love for country music.

Kozik kept it secret because it really just wouldn't look good for a big tough biker, to roll up on his Harley blasting Keith Whitley or Marty Stuart.

Piney could get away with it though, because he was old enough that people wouldn't care about what kind of music some half dead geezer listened to.

After Piney had lifted the dusty plastic cover up of the record player, he stood up and flipped through his box of records until he found the one he was looking for – a George Jones greatest hits album.

The arrangement of the tracks was just perfect. Nothing but powerful, cry your heart out, whiskey drinking, love songs.

When Piney flicked the switch, and the needle touched down – it only took a few second before the hollow sounding grooves turned into the Possum's velvety, yet raw voice.

Back over on the couch, Kozik closed his eyes and rested his backwards as he listened to the personally haunting, true words of "_A Picture of Me Without You_".

_Imagine a world where no music was playing  
>then think of a church where nobody's praying<br>if you've ever looked up at a sky with no blue  
>then you've seen a picture of me without you<em>

_Have you walked in a garden where nothing was growing_  
><em>or stood by a river where nothing was flowing<em>  
><em>if you've seen a red rose un-kissed by the dew<em>  
><em>then you've seen a picture of me without you<em>

_Can you picture Heaven with no angels singing_  
><em>or a quiet Sunday morning with no church bells ringing<em>  
><em>if you've watched as the heart of a child's breaks in two<em>  
><em>then you've seen a picture of me without you...<em>

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Well I know it has been several weeks since I have update! Sorry! **

**I felt bad for taking so long to update so that why this chapter is nice and long!**

**Excuse #1 is that my school has been domineering my life like crazy… Excuse #2 I had finished watching the entire series of the Shield (the show Kurt Sutter worked on before SOA). I was so enraged by the ending of the series that I had to write a one shot about it haha. Check out my profile if you are interested in reading it ;)**

**I know the past between Kozik and Allison seems really grey, or sketchy right now – but you will understand it all in due time! **

**If you guys have any thoughts or input, I am curious to know what you think thus far: Who do you think will get with Allison, Chibs or Kozik? (This is listed as a romance so at the end of the day so somebody will!) Do you think her reaction to Chibs fit character? Also I am wondering what you guys think of how I am writing Piney. He is such a multi-layered character, I don't want to screw it up! **

**Thank for reading, and if you have any sort of opinion about my story please review! **


	7. Not Gimpy's First Rodeo

**Disclaimer: I do not own SOA, only my OC's and their storyline. I do not own any other fiction works mentioned in the chapter either.**

* * *

><p>"You're here early Pop," Opie said as he walked into the clubhouse, surprised to see the old man sitting at the bar with a shot of tequila in his hand.<p>

It was 7:30am – usually Piney was still passed out at that time of the day.

"Could say the same for you. I thought you and Lyla weren't supposed to be back with kids until tomorrow," Piney replied looking over his shoulder.

Opie let out a disappointed sounding sigh as he sat down on a stool beside Piney. His looked down at the counter and twiddled his thumbs as he answered, "her shooting schedule got pushed ahead, so we had to come back early."

"At least you got a few days out on the beach." Piney shrugged. He noticed that just like any other time his son had brought up Lyla's profession, Opie's entire body tensed up.

On one hand Piney understood Opie's uncomfortableness towards Lyla's work, because he had felt the same thing during the first few years of his relationship with Mary. He loathed the fact that Mary had paraded around nude for other men for a living. Deep down it made Piney feel like the level of affection he was able to give her wasn't enough – that he wasn't a good enough man.

On the other hand, Piney thought that Opie was a bit of an uptight dipshit for not embracing Lyla's "talent". What man wouldn't want to be in steady relationship with a woman who is an expert at sex? Next to getting drunk - having sex was the most blissful experience a man could have on the planet.

"Yeah, the kids really had fun," Opie nodded. He looked up from his hands, and noticed on that there were several records spread out across the counter behind the bar. "What's that all about?" he asked motioning with his head to the direction of the cardboard box, sitting on the bar to the left of Piney.

"Listened to a few of records last night – what's it to you?" Piney grunted.

Opie bit his bottom lip in apprehension. He knew that his Dad didn't break out his good vinyl unless something bad had happened.

"Mom okay?"

Piney furrowed his brow at his son, "yes."

"Something happened at Stockton?"

"No."

"The club?" Opie was running out of possibilities.

"For Christ's sake - no!" Piney growled before he took the shot in his hand. After recovering from the burn he explained, "Some shit went down here yesterday. Kozik had a really rough day, so I stayed with him here overnight."

"What type of shit?" Opie asked. He would have felt bad if club shit went down while he was away.

Opie wasn't at all surprised by his Dad's response, however. He knew that Piney had always had a bit of a spot when it came to Kozik. Piney never explained why he was fond of Kozik – talking about emotions was not a exactly a Winston family trait.

After the whole ordeal with Missy and Tig went down all those years ago, Piney had been one of the only members who didn't want Kozik to transfer to SAMTAC.

Even though Opie was just a prospect at that time, he remembered hearing through the Chapel walls his Dad and Clay arguing about who should be sent away. His Dad argued that Kozik had ten times the brains Tig did. Furthermore, Piney always thought that Tig's borderline, sociopathic tendencies would get SAMCRO into a lot of trouble down the road.

Clay argued that Kozik, would never be nothing more than a ditzy, ex-junkie. Clay was so infuriated that Piney dared to insult Tig - his right hand man - so blatantly, that Opie was surprised that he didn't try to blow off his Dad's head.

"Some broad smacked him across the head with beer bottle – caused quite the ruckus," Piney stated matter of fact. He purposely left out the details of the conversation he had with Kozik before the incident went down. What Kozik had confided to him was none of anybody else's business.

Piney had learned over the years that gossip only lead to trouble - especially when it came to club member's personal lives.

"Shit," Opie tilted his head back amazement. Suddenly the light bulb went off in his head, so he asked, "did this chick have reddish hair, hazel eyes, and a small nose by any chance? Did he call her Allison?"

Piney looked up from the bar to his son with his mouth slightly gaped.

How the hell did Opie know about Kozik's old flame?

"I didn't see the ordeal happen. I was inside the clubhouse, and came out after I heard the commotion," Piney responded.

The growl that was meshed into his Dad's voice, told Opie it was best to back away from the topic before it put him in a bad mood for the rest of the day.

"Well I think I'm going to get a head start on that accountant's Fat Boy I'm supposed to be restoring this week," Opie said as he got up from the stool. He was just about the door when he realized that he didn't even ask if Kozik was okay or not. He turned around and awkwardly asked, "Kozik going to be okay, Pop?"

Piney let out an irritated sigh, "he'll be fine as long as you people stop trying to mollycoddle him, like he was some sort of fucking invalid."

Opie thought about it for second and realized that his Dad was right. He hated having people try to pry into his life and attempt to comfort him, after Donna had passed away.

"Right, I'll make sure the message gets passed on."

Opie was still going to keep an eye on Kozik, to watch for signs if he started to use again. The last thing SAMCRO needed in its diminished state was to lose one of their few members on the outside to heroin.

* * *

><p>Juice was laying his bunk, looking up at the cracked, white painted, concrete ceiling of his cell. He was so bored – he actually thought he was about to go into a state of psychosis.<p>

It had been two days since Juice and Clay had been moved to separate cells. Apparently the guards had finally gotten wise and realized their mistake that four out of the five SAMCRO member's shared cells.

His new cellmate's snoring was so obnoxiously loud that it was starting to give him a headache. All that Rodrigo Zuniga seemed to do was sleep all day. Then at night when Juice tried to sleep, Rodrigo would keep him up with a combination of grunting noises while he either exercised, or jerked off.

As Juice listened to Rodrigo go into the gurgling phase of his snore cycle, he prayed to whatever shitheel of a God there may be up in the sky; that the rest of the guys ended up with cellmates who were just as annoying.

Out of nowhere, Juice heard the loud buzzing sound which signalled that his cell door was going to be opened. For once in his life, he was actually thankful to see a prison guard. He hoped like hell that they were there to take him out of the cell.

"On your feet Ortiz – you've got yourself a visitor," one of the guards said in a very monotone voice.

Juice couldn't help but to smile like a Cheshire cat. He was pretty sure that it was Allison back to see him.

He couldn't wait to hear all about how Allison was doing in her second week of freedom. He was also curious to know what she thought about his house. He knew that his house wasn't exactly a centerfold picture spread for, _Better Home and Gardens - _but he hoped that she would be proud of the fact that he had actually bought a home for himself.

Since they were teenagers, Allison had always tried to drive her strong work ethic into his skull. She was literally the only person back in Queens, who encouraged him to try and form a life outside of poverty and crime.

When Allison got accepted into nursing school at the University of Sacramento, she hoped that it would encourage Juice to get his ass in gear and pursue his talent of mechanics; rather than his talent of being a criminal. He always had this taunting voice in the back of his mind, telling him that he had failed to honour her wishes.

Yes, he work for forty hours a week as a certified journeyman mechanic – but off the books he was an outlaw biker.

Juice's beaming smile turned into a bit of a frown when he was led into the visitation hall, and saw that is was Chibs – not Allison – whom was waiting to see him. He didn't like the serious look on Chibs' face as he sat down across from him.

"How ya' doin' Juicy boy?" Chibs asked forcing his lips to form a smile.

Juice didn't reply right away, because he was fighting the urge to bust out laughing at how ridiculously cheesy, not to mentioned forced, Chibs' smile looked. It kind of reminded Juice of the way that guy on _Oxy-Clean_ infomercials grinned.

"What, not happy to see me?" Chibs halfway teased.

"Naw," Juice responded, his frown turning into his signature grin, "just thought that it was somebody else here to see me – that's all."

Juice realized that he acting like an ass, and that he should be thankful that Chibs had taken the time out of his day to come and visit him. Besides, one hour of yard a day, and going to the chow hall three times a day, for a short period of time – was by no means enough time away from Rodrigo, the Mexican sleeping monster.

"You were hoping that there would be a better looking person on the other side of this table ta' come and see ya' – perhaps a certain redhead we both know?" Chibs said with a wink.

"Sounds about right," Juice laughed. "So you gave Allison the keys to my place and everything? I hope Gemma didn't throw too much of a fuss – you know how Gem gets about outsiders."

A nervous chuckle escaped from Chibs' lips. Where the hell should he even begin?

"Uh, now before I say anything; I want ya' to know that Allison is okay… Her truck got t-boned yesterday while it was parked on the side of Main Street –"

"Holy shit! Is she okay?" Juice blurted out, subsequently interrupting Chibs' story. His heart began to beat very rapidly as he waited for the Scotsman to reply.

The last Allison was in a car accident, she just about had to have one of her legs amputated.

"Aye, now don't go and get yourself into a tizzy. Allison wasn't even in the vehicle when it happened," Chibs responded. "Phil and I, towed her truck to TM. Sadly, it isn't going to be a write off. I estimate the damages ta' be close ta' twenty-five hundred dollars."

"Oh shit," Juice said, feeling bad that Allison would have such rotten luck so soon after released from prison.

"Aye," Chibs nodded in agreement.

"Is that all you had to tell me about brother?" Juice asked.

"Actually no…" Chibs began to run his fingers over his bearded chin out of nervousness, "there was an incident between Allison and another club member when she was leaving TM yesterday."

Juice felt like his heart plummeted into his stomach. Here it comes – somebody recognized Allison as Paul Maganoli's ex-old lady – and now Chibs was there ream his ass having contact with a club traitor.

"Chibs look brother, I can explain everything," Juice pleaded anxiously.

"Thank Christ for that, because Kozik ain't saying one peep as to why Allison felt the need to smash him across the face with glass bottle. I stopped by yer' place last night to see if she was okay… she basically told me that the Kozik and the club should leave her alone, in a rather blunt fashion I might add. I haven't talked to Gemma yet today because I came here first thing. Although I think Allison, may have ruffled Gemma feathers a bit yesterday as well," Chibs referred to Allison's description of Gemma as "_that_ _a gash of Queen_."

Chibs was completely clueless about the little spat the two women had in the office, before the Kozik incident went down.

Juice began to bob one of his legs up and down anxiously. What the hell did Kozik ever do to Allison? From what she told him, Allison rarely came into contact with the other SAMTAC member's, besides Paul.

He remembered that Allison said her avoidance had something to do with how she couldn't stand the way Lee's old lady Barbara, and Donut's old lady Linda; were always up her ass about how she should spend less time worrying about her nursing career, and focus on being a better old lady and Mother.

If there was one thing in the world that would send Allison into a blind rage; Juice knew that it'd have to be somebody critiquing her skills as a Mom. Briella was the absolute most important thing to her on the entire planet. To sum it up, Allison's motto was - you mess with my daughter, and you are dead cocksucker.

"I have literally no idea why Allison would do such a thing to Kozik, or for that matter, how she would even know him," Juice lied through his teeth.

"Aye," Chibs replied tentatively, not entirely believing Juice.

Before anything else could be said, the two guards walked up behind Juice, told him that time was up and hauled him away.

Chibs had gotten the impression that Allison harboured a grudge against the MC. He suspected that figuring out exactly why she did was not going to an easy task.

Next person to talk to would be Kozik. Hopefully the conversation wouldn't end in Kozik smashing a beer bottle across his face…

* * *

><p>Juice was not surprised to find that Rodrigo hadn't moved an inch when he returned to the cell, and was still snoring away.<p>

He had to do some very careful thinking about how he was going to approach the problem of Allison being on the club's radar. It was only a short matter of time before somebody connected the dots, and called up to Tacoma to confirm.

Juice wasn't stupid - he knew that the guys were going to blow a gasket when they find out that he had helped Allison gain her freedom.

He had some serious decisions to make, and they needed to be made fast for Allison's safety – and his.

* * *

><p>It felt like somebody was yelling in Allison's ear with a megaphone when her she awoke to the sound of somebody knocking on the front door. The sunlight filtering in through the small windowpanes in the door basically blinded her when she opened her eyes.<p>

She was confused as to why her midsection of her shirt, and the top of her pants felt damp. When she looked down and saw that her pajamas were soaked in whiskey, she assumed that it probably belonged to the empty bottle lying dormant in her lap. All too soon, it came flooding back to her - the accident, Chibs, Gemma, Kozik – everything.

Suddenly there was another loud series of knocks from the door, which increased the pounding in Allison's head tenfold. When she tried to open her mouth to tell whatever asshole was knocking the door to fuck off, only a dry hacking noise came out. It felt like somebody had shoved an entire bag of cotton balls into her mouth.

"Allison Lowrance I can see you sitting there! Open this door already!"

Allison snapped out of her hangover induced fog, stumbled up onto her feet and opened the door. Why on Earth was Rachel standing on her front porch, trying to break down the door?

"Oh thank God you are okay!" Rachel exclaimed as she pulled Allison into a tight embrace. She quickly pulled away though, when she felt how soiled Allison's shirt and pants were with alcohol.

Allison let out a groan of agony as she slumped against the wall, and slowly slid back down onto the floor and into her previous position of sitting with her knees pulled close to her chest. She cradled her head, which felt like the weight of a wrecking ball, in her hands.

"What the hell are you doing here? And for the love of God, please whisper," Allison grumbled.

Rachel went and sat down on the floor beside Allison. She felt a chill run down her creepy spine as she took in all of the SAMCRO and reaper decorations scattered throughout the living room. If she was Allison; all of those decorations would drive her crazy, because they'd constantly remind her of why she was sent to prison.

"You called me at like four-thirty this morning. You were crying so hard, I couldn't make out what was you were trying to say," Rachel answered in whisper. She eyed the empty Jack Daniels bottle lying on the carpet between her and Allison and added, "I am guessing that that empty bottle has something to do with it?"

With her head still in her hands Allison simply stated, "He's here."

Rachel furrowed her brow in confusion. "Who's here?"

There was a long, heavy, ominous silence before Allison got up the courage to tell Rachel, "He's here… Herman Kozik, is here in Charming. SAMCRO…"

"WHAT?" Rachel's voice boomed like a canon.

Allison head thrashed back, hitting the wall from the shock of Rachel's sudden change in volume. "Stop yelling," she moaned.

"Shit," Rachel wanted to say more, but she was too stunned.

It was a cruel irony. If Allison still wanted to work in nursing, she would have to suffer the indignity of living in the same town as scumbag outlaw who was responsible for locking her up.

"Oh my fucking head," Allison whined, wishing that she could just conk over and die.

The only other time she could remember feeling so hung over, was the morning after she graduated from nursing school. That morning she wished would have just died from alcohol poisoning because her nausea was that potent.

On this particular morning Allison, was lucky in that department because she only had a wee hint of nausea.

"Come on, let's go get you into the shower. I'll take you out to lunch and then you can tell me all about it," Rachel said as she got up off of the floor, and held out her hand for Allison to grab as she stood up.

She was very happy with her choice to push back all of her appointment, and drive down to Charming. Allison was a woman who was clearly in need of a friend.

* * *

><p>By 1:00pm Rachel, had poured enough coffee and water down Allison's throat that she felt halfway human. So, the two women decided to go out for lunch.<p>

They decided on going to a local greasy spoon diner just around the corner from Juice's street, because really – nothing cures a hangover better than greasy, sodium saturated, food.

"I'll have the bacon cheeseburger with onion rings," Rachel said as she gave the waitress her order.

"Uh, I guess I'll have the same thing," Allison also told the waitress.

"Sure," the waitress replied. She took a second to eye Allison up and down before she commented, "I'll make sure to keep the coffee coming, darling." The waitress then promptly spun around on her heels, and left the two women alone.

"Do I really look that bad?" Allison grumbled as she bowed her head in embarrassment from the waitress' comment.

Rachel bit her bottom and fought back the urge to laugh. The waitress hit the nail on the head - Allison really did look rough.

She was wearing a pair of plain black yoga pants, and a dark purple hoodie. Her hair was pulled back into a messy half ponytail, half bun. There were puffy, grey bags under her bloodshot eyes, which really didn't help to make her pale complexion look more lifelike.

"Oh just say it. I look as bad as I feel," Allison scoffed, rolling her eyes.

Rachel couldn't hold her tongue anymore and responded in a dry tone, "_Wednesday _from the _Addams Family,_ looked more alive than you do right now."

Allison let out a long sigh. She supposed that she had put off telling Rachel about the whole Kozik ordeal for long enough. Rachel had been patient, but Allison could tell that Rachel desperately wanted to know the details.

"So you know how my truck got hit and is in shop, blah, blah," Allison paused for Rachel's acknowledgement. After a brief head nod from her, Allison continued on, "So anyways, out of the all the garages to choose from in Charming, the cops called TM Automotive to come and tow my truck… TM is SAMCRO's legitimate business."

Rachel's eyebrows shot upwards at Allison's comment, "Okay. So I am assuming the garage is where you ran into Kozik. What happened?"

"It's funny you worded it as, '_running into him_'… I was on my way out of the compound when I suddenly collided with a large body, and almost fell backward onto my ass. I looked up and there he was - Herman Kozik. As cliché as it sounds, I literally thought that I was dreaming at first. But when he said my name, I knew that it was really him standing in front of me," Allison began to pick underneath her fingernails as she spoke. "You know it's funny, after all of this time he still called me Allie. He used to tell me that he though Allison was too stuffy sounding for me."

"What did he say to you?" Rachel asked. She felt sorry for the way the life seemed to dim out of Allison's eyes, when Allison brought up her past with Kozik.

Even though Allison was too stubborn to admit it, Rachel knew that Kozik still had a hold on Allison's heart. Just how strong the hold was; Rachel had no clue.

Allison let out a soft, sad sounding chuckle, "All he said was that this wasn't how he wanted us to meet again, or something along those lines…"

"Hold up! You mean _he knew_ that you're out of prison and are staying in Charming?" Rachel exclaimed in a raised tone.

Was Kozik really that much of a creep to have kept tabs on his ex-lover for all of those years?

"He probably saw me the few times I had to go to TM before yesterday, when I went to get the keys to Juice's house," Allison answered flatly. She assumed that Kozik saw her the night she had frozen after she had heard him laughing.

"Uh huh," Rachel looked at Allison in the eye and asked her point blank, "do I need to be worried about your safety, Allison?"

"What? God no!" Allison blurted out. She accidently came off sounding a bit offended, even though she knew that Rachel was just trying to be a good friend/ex-attorney.

"Allison, this man whom supposedly loved you, gave you up like some sort of petty ante bingo prize to save a branch of a criminal organization."

Allison didn't know what to say. She knew that every word Rachel had just said was true. But how could all of the feelings her and Kozik shared be a lie?

In her entire life, she had never connected with another human being as strongly as she did with Kozik. He knew everything there was to possibly know about her, and could even anticipate what she was thinking. And then there was all of those time he had told her that he loved her – was all just an act, and she was that gullible to believe him? Or maybe he did he really love her, but he was lying to her about how he didn't want to live the outlaw life anymore.

Kozik's betrayal was a question Allison had been asking herself for almost seven years, and was sure that she wasn't going to figure it out anytime soon…

She let out a frustrated sigh before finally responding to Rachel's comment, "All I can do is just wait it out and see what happens. Like I said last week when you asked me about how comfortable I am around SAMCRO; they cannot really do anything to me. Throughout the entire process I never ratted on the MC, so they have no reason to take any action against my presence here in Charming. Even though I did kill Paul, my betrayal levels itself out in the MC's outlaw justice scales. If I didn't murder him – SAMTAC would have made sure that he would have met the Mayhem."

"I'll have to take your word, Allison. You know more about that the world more than I do. But if that bastard Kozik, or any other member of that club ever lays a hand on you… I'll never forgive myself for setting you up in this town," Rachel admitted.

Allison was touched by Rachel comment. She decided that it was just best to stop her story there.

All of the other details about her losing it on Kozik, disrespecting Gemma, and having a club member wanting to go out on a date with her, would just sent Rachel into a tizzy. This day was probably going to be the last time for a bit where she and Rachel could spend time together, seeing as that her nursing recertification classes were going to be starting up next week.

Even though Allison felt like shit, she wanted rest of the day to be spent talking about positive subjects, and more importantly, to have fun.

* * *

><p>Gemma was surprised when she pulled into the TM parking lot in the early afternoon, and saw that Tara was sitting at one of the tables outside by the boxing ring, with both Thomas and Abel.<p>

Tara didn't usually leave the hospital until 5:00pm. Even though she made a lot of money, not having Jax's income for ten months had put a strain on the family's bank account. Everyday living expenses combined with, the expenses of having an infant and one chronically ill child, added up surprisingly fast.

As soon as Gemma got out of her SUV, she made a beeline towards Tara. She hoped like hell nothing was wrong with the guys inside Stockton. The only other time since the guys had went inside that Tara was at the compound with the boys at an odd hour; was the day that Tara had gotten the that Jax had been stabbed by a Russian.

"Is everything okay?" The worry in Gemma's tone was very obvious.

"Oh yeah, everything is cool," Tara hadn't put any thought into the fact that her presence at an odd hour may mean trouble, until she had spotted the panic on Gemma's face.

Gemma's posture relaxed as she replied, "that's good. Why aren't you and the boys at, St. Thomas?"

"There was some sort of issue with a water pipe bursting at the hospital, so they had to shut down the surgical floor. My surgery got pushed back until tomorrow. I thought I'd drop by and check up on how Kozik's doing."

"You shouldn't have bothered sweetie," Gemma sighed as she pulled out a chair and sat at the table. "According to Opie - Kozik and Piney the entire night here drinking booze and listen to Piney's geezer records. Kozik woke up around noon and had Phil drive him home in the van. I tried to ask him how he was holding up, but he just told me to go to hell for the millionth time this week. Chibs tried to talk to him as well, but Kozik also told Chibs where to go. This is some pretty serious shit, Tara. It's been a long time since I'v seen Kozik this torn up."

Tara tilted her head back in shock, "lipping people off doesn't sound like Kozik."

Gemma arched an eyebrow and stated in a dry tone, "yeah no shit. I think that his random booze bender last week had something to with, Gimpy."

"Gimpy?" Tara asked, knowing that if Gemma had given Juice's mysterious friend a nickname already – she was really on Gemma's bad side.

"I went to Juice's place last night to rip that bitch a new one, and when she opened the door I saw that her legs were completely fucked up. It was like she had swapped legs with Frankenstein or something," Gemma replied wryly.

"Well did you find out why she attacked Kozik?" Tara inquired, not sure what to make of Gemma's observation.

"No! Gimpy slammed the door in my face before I could find out," Gemma scathed while shaking her head.

"Holy shit," Tara blurted out.

"Yeah I know," Gemma said as she took her sunglasses off and set them on top of her head.

"Well you mentioned yesterday that she had just gotten out of prison – do you know why she was inside?" Tara asked, her inquisitive mind trying to piece together the scenario.

"No, but Unser has a niece who works in the headquarters office for the California Department of Corrections. He's going to do a favour for me and getting his niece to pull all of the records there are for, Gimpy. We should know exactly what her angle is with SAMCRO, any day now. Until then, all we can do is wait and keep an eye on Kozik. The only other time I have seen him so distraught was after the whole Missy and Tig ordeal, went down."

Tara was surprised at Gemma's last comment. She had found out from eavesdropping in on conversations here and there, that Tig and Kozik's beef was over some dog named Missy. Among the SAMCRO circle; the feud was a taboo subject.

Also, Tara knew that this was one of those old lady situations, of which she was unfamiliar of what the proper protocol should be. Even though she wanted to drive over to Juice's house, and give this outside a Gemma style scare – she would just have to sit back and follow the Queen's lead.

* * *

><p>It was around 11:00pm, and Rachel had left Allison to drive home about an hour ago.<p>

Allison was lounging on the couch in the living room, combing through the categories of the twenty-first century, technological miracle know as _Netflix._ If she'd been allowed to access this miracle program while in Chowchilla, the time would have flown by so fast.

She had narrowed the field of choice down to the television category. She was mentally debating whether she should catch up on _Grey's Anatomy, _or _Lost._ Before she could make up her mind, a steady series of sharp knocks bellowed out from the direction of the front door.

Allison snapped her head over her shoulder to the right, and stared at the front door. Part of her wanted to answer the door, and tell whoever had the balls to knock on somebody's door at eleven o'clock at night to grab a brain.

The other part of her was scared to open the door. Last night she had opened the door to a crazy biker queen, an odd Scottish outlaw biker, and a god damned Sheriff.

The person on the other side of the door knocked again, this time more vigorously than before.

Allison walked approached the front door, but her feet stuck to the carpet like superglue about a foot away from the door. She still did not have to the courage to open that damn door. After a few anxious moments of heavy silence; the person on the other side of the door spoke up.

"Allison, I know yer' in there. Look, I understand if ya' don't want ta' speak to me after yesterday. I just came here ta' tell ya' that I can't write off your truck, unfortunately," Chibs' Scottish accent rung out. He took a moment to get a handle on his nerves before informing Allison, "Kozik isn't seriously hurt… but if he tried to hurt ya', hurt ya' in the past - or even if ya' think he may hurt ya' - don't hesitate to call me. I'll drop everything and come runnin' ta' help ya'."

Chibs cringed and closed his eyes at the lack of movement and sound that filled his ears. He hoped that he wasn't talking to a wall and making a fool of himself. However, when he heard Allison inhale sharply as if she was fighting back the urge to cry; he quickly added on, "I will call yer twice a day, until you feel that you are ready to talk." He waited several moments for Allison to articulate a reply. After what seemed like an eternity of heart wrenching sobs, he finally gave up and reluctantly walked off of the porch, down the steps, and climbed back onto his Dyna.

As he buckled up the chin strap of his helmet, his intuition overwhelmed him with the feeling that Allison's story went way beyond whatever went on between her and Kozik in the past.

Juice's words of how, _"her ex-husband and his associates screwed her over,"_ suddenly made sense. So did Allison's backhanded referrals to how the MC worked; Juice's sudden jitteriness when during his visit in the morning; and the wall Kozik and Allison both seemed to put up when Chibs, brought up either individual…

This was definitely not Allison's first rodeo.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So a quick update, Yay! **

**Thank you to my reviewer, and the people who have followed/ favorite since my last update. **

**My next chapter is going to be a flashback chapter, to an episode of when Allison was in Chowchilla. **

**I know that there wasn't a lot of Kozik in this chapter, but there will be more to come – trust me! **

**Thanks for reading and please review; good or constructive criticism is always welcome! **


	8. A Drug Deal ?

**Disclaimer: I only own my OC's and the plot line.**

* * *

><p>Allison lay on her bunk, and stared at the small calendar on the far wall. The print was so fine she that couldn't read what the dates were, but it did not matter because a series of black <em>X's <em>scribbledover each past day, told her all that she needed to know.

"Are you just going to lie there all day and stare at that calendar, Allison?"

The sound of her cellmate's voice from the bunk above her did not break her fixation on the calendar. After about five minutes of not responding; Allison spoke up in a very detached tone, "Today is November 14th, 2006. I've been in this place for exactly two years."

Allison heard her cellmate sit up and let out a large sigh, before she climbed down off of the top bunk. She groaned in frustration – she was in no mood to deal with one of Helen Josephson's, mother hen lectures.

"I don't want to hear about it, Helen."

Helen was the second cellmate Allison, had since she arrived at Chowchilla. Being fifty-nine years of age, definitely made Helen one of the older inmates in the facility. She stood 5'1 from the ground, and was quite plump around the middle which was due to living off low quality prison food, for the past thirty-seven years. The shiny bob of silver hair on top of her head brought out the softness, in her tired blue eyes.

Helen walked up to the calendar and without a word, took it off of the wall. She then stuffed it the crevasse between the wall, and the small stainless steel dresser that the two women shared.

"Hey, what the hell!" Allison roared in outrage. She got up and walked over to Helen, so that they were standing face to face.

"Honey, I've had thirty-seven days where I've felt like you do today. There is no point in dwelling on the fact that you have been prison for a certain number of years. There isn't one woman in this place who wouldn't want to turn back the clock, and do things differently – but we just can't," Helen said in a calm fashion.

Allison had a lot of respect for Helen, but this day, her mood was so black that she couldn't help but to roll her eyes. She let out an irritated huff before she replied, "I am very well aware of the fact that as a mere mortal, I do not possess the ability to manipulate the space-time continuum."

Helen narrowed her eyes, and looked at Allison from head to toe. A heavy feeling formed at the pit of her stomach because Allison, reminded her so much of herself at that age; relativity fresh in prison, still reeling over the men had screwed her over, and as angry as hell.

She knew that what Allison needed was patience, so – it was exactly what she was going to get.

"If you are so aware of it, I suggest that you comb your hair and wash your face. The guards will be here to escort us to the group meeting in twenty minutes."

Allison wrapped her arms around herself and grimaced. The absolute last thing she wanted to do, was to sit in a big circle with a bunch of remorseful, weak women; and listen to them blubber on and on about how their abusive boyfriends and husbands ruined their lives.

Sure, Allison was no different. She was put in jail because her husband had pushed her to the point of murder – but at least she had given it her all to get herself and Briella away from the prick. Allison also doubted that any of the other women in the group had their husband put them in the middle of a dick measuring contest, between a bunch of white trash bikers and the Italian Mafia.

Before Allison could reply, the cell door suddenly buzzed open and a male guard stepped inside.

"Let's go Lowrance, your attorney is waiting for you."

For the first time in several days, a grin spread across Allison's face. Rachel had come to her rescue!

* * *

><p>Rachel was very relieved when the door to the private visitation room buzzed open and Allison shuffled inside, escorted by two prison guards. She had been waiting for close to an hour for Allison to arrive.<p>

The faint musty odour and the dull beige walls were beginning to stress out Rachel. She had a touch of claustrophobia, so naturally she did not overly enjoy being in private visitation room in prison's, for too long.

As the guards freed Allison from her wrist and ankle shackles; Rachel took the brief interlude to reposition all of the papers on the table, one last time.

This day was a very important day because, this would be the first major step toward building Allison a solid appeal case. All of Allison's medical setbacks were hopefully behind her, so now it would be full steam ahead.

Once Allison was seated and the guards had left the two women alone - Rachel was the first to talk, "You're looking better today, Allison."

"I guess so…" Allison mumbled back, certain that Rachel was bullshitting her.

How she possibly look _good,_ wearing a bright orange jumpsuit that was three sizes too big, and a pair of grey rubber clogs? She thought that her ghostly skin tone, combined with the grey bags underneath her eyes, made her look like some sort of demon from a horror movie. Never mind the fact that she hadn't bothered to brush her tangled hair or wash her oily face for the past two days.

Rachel let out a sigh. Allison's slouched posture, dimmed eyes and unexpressive tone, were sadly a common phenomenon she'd seen time and time again, with her clients whom felt defeated by their predicament.

"I uh, deliberately planned out meeting so that you'd miss the support group today," Rachel commented. She knew Allison well enough that the last thing she'd want to do was discuss Paul, on her two year anniversary of being locked up.

Rachel had advised her to take part in a support group within the prison, where inmates convicted of crimes related to domestic violence, worked out whatever issues or problems they might have. Due to the nature of Allison's case and her personality in general; Rachel knew that Allison loathed going to the group. However, at the end of the day when it came time to take her appeal to court, the judge would want to see that Allison had done everything possible to better herself, while incarcerated. Even if all she did was sit in an uncomfortable plastic chair for an hour straight, one day a week – the group still look good on paper.

Allison gave Rachel a weak smile, "thanks." She paused to sneeze before inquiring, "So, we are going to confirm the topics before you meet up with Juice?"

"That's right," Rachel answered while motioning downward to the stacks of papers laid out on the steel table, "all our ideas our outlined in these packages. Take your time and give them a good look over."

* * *

><p>Allison set down the last page of the package Rachel had prepared. She stared at the array of papers spread out across the metal table. Seeing her life illustrated in cold, impersonal, black type gave Allison a somber sense of clarity.<p>

Without lifting her eyes up from the papers, Allison asked, "So this is all of it, huh?"

"Yes, that's all of the topics and events that I am going to discuss with Juan Carlos," Rachel stated in a matter of fact tone.

"And Juice talking about all of this stuff will help out my case?" Allison asked still staring at the papers. She picked up one particular page between her right thumb and index finger, and turned it so that the print was facing Rachel. "Juice going on record about how as teenagers we lived off pork and beans for six months, will help me gain my freedom?"

"That example indicates how dedicated you are to the people you love in your life. When the judge sees the sacrifices you made when you took in Juan Carlos, after his Mother had passed away; it'll further exemplify your motherly instincts."

"Pork and beans…?" Allison retorted with raised eyebrows, still not believing that a judge would care about her diet as a teenager.

"It's a miniscule aspect I know, but every little bit helps," Rachel begrudgingly admitted.

Allison sighed and set the paper back down. She held her head in her hands and looked down at her lap, "It all seems good, but you have to remember – any topic even remotely related to the MC cannot be mentioned. If the MC finds out he is doing this for me, he'll probably lose his patch… or worse."

Rachel leaned over the table and placed a hand on Allison's arm. Her reassuring touch made Allison look up to her. "I promise you, nothing will be documented that could incriminated him, or the MC."

Allison bit her bottom lip and slowly nodded. She then looked up to the encaged clock, hanging up on the wall to her left. She had spent forty-five minutes with Rachel already; the support meeting would soon be over.

"Thank you. Also, thank you for stopping by today. It made my day a bit better," Allison told the truth.

"Anything for you, Allison," Rachel smiled as she stood up, and began to gather up the packets to put back into her briefcase.

After Rachel had collected everything, and knocked on the door so that she could be buzzed out; Allison blurted out a last minute thought, "Hey, remember not to mention Manny's name at all. Juice knows all about me having an affair with my neighbour, but what he doesn't know is that my neighbour was Herman Kozik… Juice will go postal if he finds out it was a club member."

As Rachel pulled open the door, she looked over left shoulder and replied, "I'll remember. I will stop by tomorrow to let you know how it goes with Juan Carlos, this afternoon."

Allison acknowledged her statement with a nod. She hoped like hell that Juice wouldn't bail at the last minute. He was the last person who could save her…

* * *

><p>Rachel sat at a picnic table, holding onto her paper coffee cup like her life depended on it. Even though it was only 5:00pm, she was very exhausted from her long drive up to Rouge River. She had followed Allison's instructions to the letter; sit at the blue wooden picnic table by the creek, in Creekside Park. Also, to not raise any suspicions, Rachel had stopped at a gas station on the way and changed into plain clothes. She wore a navy hoodie and a pair of black sweatpants, and switched her briefcase out for a plain grey and white backpack.<p>

If any other club member saw Juice, talking in a park with a lady in a black Gucci pantsuit – it would look very fishy.

Rachel kept scanning the cars slowly driving along the road, and the people walking down the pathway by the road, for a Porte Rican man with a mowhawk.

When she had spotted Juice, the plan was that she would get up and go to the restroom. Once she had returned; Juice should be sitting at the picnic table waiting for her.

Rachel pulled her cellphone out of the outmost pocket in her backpack and flipped it open. Her pulse began to quicken when she saw that it was 5:15pm, and there was no sign of Juice anywhere. She prayed that he didn't change his mind about helping out Allison.

Allison had already experienced what it's like when a loved one turns their back on you during a time of need. Rachel wasn't sure if Allison could survive such heartache again.

A few more minutes passed, and still no sign of Juice. Then out of nowhere, the roar of Harley's disrupted the quaint, docile atmosphere of the park. There were two patched members parking their bikes in the parking lot across the road. Rachel stood up, and proceeded to the bathroom when she saw that the first biker to take off their helmet fit the description of Juice.

When she got out the bathroom, Rachel was shocked to see that Juice wasn't sitting alone at the picnic table. There was also another biker sitting beside him. He had longer blonde hair, and looked to be in his mid-twenties. Thankfully once Juice had seen her begin to head back toward the table, he said something to the blonde which made him get up and leave Juice alone; but not before shooting Rachel a scrutinizing glare.

Despite how antsy Rachel was when she sat down across the table from Juice; she didn't seem to show any sign of nervousness on the outside. She looked calm, cool, and very much collected.

Juice on the other hand, looked quite frazzled. His was hunched over the table, with his arms crossed and elbows resting on top of the table. Both of his legs were simultaneously, bobbing up and down at a rapid pace. Beads of perspiration glistened on top of his head, and ran down to his face.

"Juan Carlos Ortiz?" Rachel inquired as she unslung the backpack from her shoulders.

"That's right. I take it that you're, Rachel?" Juice asked in a wary tone as he looked over both of his shoulders to see who might be watching the pair.r

"Correct –"

Juice interrupted what Rachel was going to say. He straightened up his posture, and placed a hand into an inside pocket of his kutte, "look my buddy over there thinks that you are an old squeeze of mine who just got out of the can. Shit didn't go as planned today with SAMCRO's business up here today, so I lied and said I had to meet you here because you wanted to buy a little bit of weed. You got fifty bucks on you?"

"Uh, yes I do, but I'm not going to but drugs off of you," Rachel exclaimed feeling a bit baffled by the situation, as she opened up her backpack and grabbed her wallet.

"You're not – I filled the baggie up with basil flakes," Juice said as he pulled out a small plastic bag from his pocket.

Rachel pulled out a fifty dollar bill from her wallet, crumpled it up, and discreetly slipped it into Juice's hand when he handed her the baggie. She quickly threw the baggie it into her open backpack, and then looked around to see if anybody had seen the exchange. Nobody was close enough the see what had happened, so she felt a bit more at ease.

Juice placed the bill into his kutte pocket and surprised Rachel, when he pulled out a cheap looking, cellphone. He slid it across the table and explained as he got up, "It's a pre-pay. There's only my number on there. Call me tonight at quarter after eleven, and I'll give you a time and a place where we can meet up alone to talk about, Allison."

Before Rachel could get in a word, Juice was already walking away from her and back to where his bike was parked. She snatched up the phone and placed it into her backpack. She then got up, and began to walk over to the parking lot on the other side of the park, where she had parked her own vehicle.

Juice's actions were unexpected, but at least he made an effort to let Rachel know that he was on board with helping out.

Rachel would just have to wait until later that night to see what would happen next.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So I apologize this took so long to get out, and that it not as long as all of my other chapters. I know this may seem irrelevant now, but instead of just barfing up background info about Allison past before she met Paul, and Juice's Allison's relationship - I thought Juice's meetings with Rachel is a creative way to present this information. There will be about 2-3 of these interludes in story, when appropriate. Also, as a reader you should pay attention to Helen... ;)**

**I'll get back to the whole Allison in Charming fiasco next chapter, and don't worry - there will be drama galore!**

**I am sorry my updates are so irratic - my schedule is really weird right now :( But anyways, thanks to all of my reviewers. Also, thanks for all of the favorties/follows! I totally can't believe that 100 people are following this in just 8 chapters!**

**Thanks for taking the time out of your day to read this and please leave a review! :)))) **


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